Update

Well I am finally an official COLLEGE GRADUATE! Kinda scary. Chicago semester finished off amazingly. Things slowed down with school at the end and I was able to really enjoy the city. I was glad to be done with the work, but sad to leave my students and the city. I definitely miss my kiddos!

My amazing dad road tripped out to come and get me. He's the best. We went from Chicago to NYC. One big city to the next. I was in the city for 5 days with my parents. Hanging out, experiencing the city and helping my mom out at work (she's a nanny).

After a few days in the big city, I went to Virginia for a reunion with some of my summer staffers from this past summer. We managed to get 7 out of the 11 of us there, which I thought was a pretty good turn out. We rented a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, hung out, played games, cooked food, went for a walk by the river, attempted to pet cows, and built the most amazing fort ever! It was a complete blast! I love all of them so much!

After the reunion I was off to Richmond. I hung out with my brother, Katie and the boys for the week leading up to Christmas. It was awesome. I was able to help Katie out with the boys, which meant I got to spend time with them, which is the best thing ever! I seriously love my nephews so much. Like words do not explain it. Every time I see them, I love them more. I can't even imagine what it is going to be like when I have my own kids. They are the cutest kids in the entire world. Being an aunt is so much fun!

We had Christmas with the whole gang in Richmond and that was great as always. The day after Christmas our family was off to the Outer Banks for our now annual week at the beach. We ended up driving through the terrible snow storm that came through. Well...actually, to be honest, it wasn't all that bad of a snow storm. But...since the entire state of Virginia does not own a single plow, we drove on the worst roads I've ever been on. Our 3 hour drive took 6. Boo :(

I spent like 4 days at the beach with my family just hanging out. It was great and relaxing. We went outlet shopping and I got some serious deals, which is always a plus. Wednesday evening I also ended up having two visitors! My best friend Nick came to visit. I hadn't seen him since last Thanksgiving! It was so great to see him and catch up. Lisa also came Wednesday night so we could leave early this morning. We all got to hang out, play pool, card games, bananagrams and just catch up. It was such a blast!

The first half of my month of adventures is over, and I'm moving on to the next page...which I'm super excited about! OUR EPIC ROAD TRIP! More to come...

Chicago

Okay, so I've been absolutely horrible at blogging this semester. And so many fun things have happened. My Grand Rapids visit seems like forever ago.

Chicago has been amazing! Such an awesome experience, and I'm so glad I'm here. I wouldn't change any of it. The Lord has taught me so much, I've built relationships during my time here with both old and new friends, I've had tons of new experiences, most amazing, some I could have gone without :), I've lived in a big city, love public transportation and have really experienced Chicago. I love it!

The past 4 weeks have been amazing. Like, possibly life changing. I don't know, thats a pretty bold statement, but they've been incredible! Too much fun for someone to handle. I've had really high highs and really low lows. But all of it is awesome. The lows have been the Lord breaking me, which makes me more and more desperate for him, which turns into high highs. Amazing.

Here's a quote from my fabulous sister, so true and so real:

"Whenever God is about to bring you to a higher platform of spiritual life, you always first get thrown down. He makes you hungry before He feeds you; He strips you before He clothes you; He makes nothing of you before He makes something of you."

I've experienced this in the last month, but it's really been absolutely incredible!

I wasn't going to catch up right now, but I guess I will. Knowing me, I probably won't come back to it. Basically, I had four awesome weekends all in a row. It was so much fun! (granted, it was during the four weeks that I was teaching my unit to my students, so it did get stressful at times and I worked really hard all week long, but it was so worth it!)

It started with an awesome visit by Elizabeth and Abby! I love love love those girls so much! They came for the weekend and we had a blast! We did lots of fun touristy things and also just spent time together catching up. It was fantastic!



The next weekend I flew to Virginia. I got to see my brother and sister in law and my two absolutely adorable nephews! I then went to Harrisonburg and was planning on seeing one of my summer staff girls from this summer. Turns out, I got to see FOUR of them!!! Three of them came and surprised me! It was the BEST surprise EVER!



It's the only time I've been surprised by people and it was SO much fun! They came from across Virginia, Tennessee AND ARIZONA! Oh my goodness I love those girls so so much! It was awesome. We hung out and caught up, went out for dinner, bought bulk candy, I got to see Chocklett, which was awesome, and the next day we went up on a mountain and took pictures. It was so fantastic!



AND THEN...I went to the wedding, which was the point of my visit. One of my best friends from Summer Staff, Amy, got married! (To Nathan, who we met that month, who she went out on her first date with, when she came to my house for Thanksgiving. I love it!) The wedding was absolutely beautiful! I got to see some old friends, and Amy was the most gorgeous bride ever!



Which, granted, wasn't too hard because she's drop dead gorgeous all the time. The ceremony was the best one I think I've been to. Pete did such an amazing job honoring Amy and Nathan. He captured their personalities and the ways they love each other and others love being around them. It was beautiful.

The next weekend...I can't even explain. It was quite possibly the best weekend of my life. It was SO much fun! One of my dear dear friends Mike came to visit. I know Mike through young life. He was one of my summer staffers two years ago and we've just been in touch since then. He's one of my favorite people in the world. He came with his friend Matt who I hadn't met but had heard a lot about. Matt is fantastic. We instantly became friends. Mike's been sharing the gospel with Matt recently and there have been some amazing stories. God is at work and I LOVE seeing it! We had some great conversations and the whole weekend was such a blessing. We went to the skydeck, got Chicago deep dish pizza, saw the festival of lights, went to Blue Man Group and had WAY too much fun. Both of them are such dear friends. I could go on and on about the weekend. Just ask about it if you want to hear more.




Favorite Picture of the Weekend!

And then the next weekend was THANKSGIVING! I flew back to Virginia and got to spend time with my family. I got to see my sister, who I haven't seen since Christmas. It was FABULOUS to catch up with her! We were up until the wee hours of the morning chatting. So good. Plus, I got to see lots of family, eat delicious food and make gingerbread houses!





Overall, life has been awesome. Hard at times, but great none the less. Hard because everyone lives so far away :( The Lord has been teaching me and blessing me like crazy. I only have one week left in Chicago, and then I'm off for lots more adventures! I'll share about that later :)

Grand Rapids!

Last weekend, I had the awesome opportunity to go up to Grand Rapids and visit my amazing friends! We didn't have school on Monday, so it was a long weekend for me. Actually getting there was quite an adventure with missed trains, cars not starting and errands to run, but I made it and it was a phenomenal weekend!

I got in late on Friday night and stayed at Abby's apartment. I woke up early and joined the divers for practice on Saturday. It was so good to see everyone and meet the new freshman. It was fun to get back on the boards again too :) I don't miss it like I miss vaulting, but it was definitely good to be back. I hadn't touched a board since Nationals in March, so it had been a while. But I can still do a front two and half pike, so I was okay with that, even though it wasn't that pretty.

I got to catch up a little bit with Sam, one of the divers after practice. I miss her so much! It was so good to just chat and hear about the team and everything.

I then went back to Abby's and Elizabeth came over. I essentially spent the whole weekend with the two of them and it was AMAZING! I love them so much and we had so much fun! It was great to catch up on the summer and life in general. Oh I miss them!

We packed some lunches and headed to Reeds Lake. It was the PERFECT weekend to go to Grand Rapids! It was truly a fall weekend! The weather was gorgeous! We sat out on a blanket and just chatted and ate lunch. Then, of course, we had to go to Jersey Junction to get some ice cream! Probably the low of the weekend was that they didn't have Chocolate Almond. My favorite. (but not too shabby of a low for the weekend)

We then went bargain shopping and got a couple things. It wasn't as successful as I was hoping, but it was fine. There aren't too many thrift shops around Chicago, so I miss them. We had some good finds though.

Then we headed back to Abby's for dinner and met up with our guy friends to play some games. It was good to see everyone! I miss those guys a lot.

Sunday morning we went to Crossroads. Oh my goodness I can't explain the love I have for the people there and that community. Such amazing worship and rich fellowship. It's sometimes painful how much I miss it. It was so good to be back. Yet it makes me want to go to Grand Rapids every weekend. I feel like Crossroads is the one thing that would ever keep me in Grand Rapids, but sometimes I think it would be worth it. Rod didn't preach, so that was unfortunate, but it was still a great sermon and so good to be back.

After church, we headed straight to an apple orchard and went apple picking! So much fun! We got there right as they opened, which was perfect timing.









We picked lots of apples and had to search for them. It was a bad crop this year, but it was fun to have to climb for them :) Then we got donuts, which is always a plus.
Love these girls!

We then headed to Chris' house and made apple crisp with our freshly picked apples. YUM! Zack and Tim came over too and we just chilled. We watched a movie and ate goodness. Sunday night we just hung out, tried to go bowling, but it didn't work out and then crashed. I was exhausted.

Monday I slept in, then went to Calvin's campus and had lunch with my old suite-mate. It was so good to catch up with her! I hung out at Calvin for a while and ran into a bunch of people, which was so fun! It was so weird being back there, yet it felt so normal.

Then I headed back to Chicago and got in around dinner time. It was a spectacular weekend, really, couldn't have gone better! The weather was absolutely amazing, I got to see my dear friends, and we had so much fun! Now, everyone has to come visit me... :)

Amazingness!

Well, I just signed up for Passion 2011!!! I'm PUMPED!!! I'm gonna need to get a job cause I feel like I've been spending way too much money, I'm not sure how this road trip thing next semester is going to work out, but I'm excited none the less. Road Trip Epicness is actually happening!

My amazing friend Lisa, who was my partner in crime last summer (2009), has committed herself (for some crazy reason) to an almost two week road trip with me!!!! Oh my goodness it can't come fast enough! It's going to entail driving to Atlanta, being a part of the amazing Passion Conference (which I am CRAZY stoked about!) then heading to a young life camp to do workcrew for a few days, and then down to Orlando where I'm gonna watch Lisa run the Disney Marathon! And then we'll make our way back to Virginia. AHHH!! I can't wait! And I just bought my ticket...so it's actually happening!

My Constant

So, recently I've realized, that I'm someone who hates to pass up an opportunity. I'm not tied down to anyone or anything enough to say no when an opportunity arises. I love the adventure of something new and when opportunities I like arrive, I tend to be a "go-getter." Leaving things behind and going into complete unknown places without anyone I know, is exciting. I like the thrill of it. I love thinking about meeting new people and hearing their stories, I love investing in relationships and going on adventures. Seizing an opportunity is basically how I ended up here. And interning at Champion. And going to Calvin. The last four years have been a result of jumping on board when God told me to go. Maybe it was even the fact that my parents moved. I didn't have the familiarity to go back to anyway. The Lord has been pushing me in new directions and has been filling me with his joy in these journeys. They've been hard, but so much fun!

There are many moments though, especially at the beginning of a new adventure, that I want to turn around and go back. The thrill and excitement start to fade as I settle in to a new place and realize that I am completely surrounded by unknowns. As fun as meeting new people is, it's a ton of work. And in this, I miss my friends. A lot. Just having someone know me like my friends do, not having to explain myself in certain situations. This hit me last weekend. I was just really missing people. It was like I wanted to "go back home," but I didn't know where home was. I wanted to be back at camp, but none of my friends are there anymore. I wanted to be back at Calvin, and granted most of my close friends are still around there, we've graduated, so things are different. And in all of this I realized that every single one of my close friendships is a long distance relationship. Every single one. And they always will be. That's what Young Life camp does to you. And going to school a million miles from what was once home. At camp you meet the most amazing people in the world, become great friends, and then they get spread all across the country. Or even world. Not gonna lie, it pretty much stinks. Everything is over the phone or computer. There's just this longing for that rich fellowship. I just miss them a lot. But God has been teaching me in these times.

It has been so great to realize that God is my constant. He is literally my only constant, but he is by far the best constant to have. As I move from place to place and have to start relationships all over, while still trying to keep the old ones too, my relationship with the Lord does not change. I don't have to start over. He doesn't live at camp and I had to say bye to him. He's been on all of my journey's with me. He knows the depths of my soul. He never leaves my side. He is my comfort and my source of strength. I couldn't do any of it without him. What a blessing that I don't have to! I never have to say bye to my best friend. How amazing.

Plus...having friends all over the country...means...ROAD TRIP! We'll see if it happens, but I'm hoping to spend a semester driving around visiting all of my dear dear friends, wherever they are. Epic road trip number one is already happening! Can't wait!

Chi-town

Chicago has been so much fun! It's been really different than I thought it would be, but I'm definitely loving it. It's still taking some time getting used to everything and figuring out where things are, but for the most part, I'm catching the hang of it. I, for the most part, finally understand the transportation system. Today I actually changed my transportation route without having to look it up and I got home perfectly. I was proud of myself.

I am really enjoying student teaching as well. I like my teacher a lot and I love my students! They're adorable! It has been such a blessing being in first grade. The Lord absolutely knows what he is doing. First grade has a great team of teachers who work together and stay out of the schools drama. They have been really great. I'm starting to get more and more into taking over the class. I've taken on two subjects and this week will probably pick up a third. It's busy and a lot of work, but I'm enjoying it, so it makes it worth while.

I love the girls that I'm living with and I think I've found a church. Things are going really well and the Lord has been teaching me a lot. A lot about prayer and pursuing my relationship with him. I'll make that one another post. Just thought I would update, things are going great and I'm really enjoying it!

He is in control

God keeps reminding me that He is the one in control and I'm just along for the ride. Which is actually a great reminder and makes life much more care-free. He knows what He's doing and wants the best for me, so I don't have to worry about any of it.

The Lord keeps changing things from the way that I think they will go. It's not even that I want them to go a certain way, or have an expectation of it, but it's just the way I pictured it. Or He shows me what my true purpose of being somewhere is when I thought it was something else. This happened a lot this summer. Sometimes things end up way better than I had pictured, and other times it's just really different and I have to change the way I think about it. It happened this summer with what I thought was going to be easy and what I thought was going to be a challenge. God flip flopped them and it threw me off for a little bit. But of course, in the end, I learned so much and everything turned out the way it was supposed to.

This has happened a couple times in Chicago. What it is going to be like, who I've become friends with, where I'm living...lots of things I thought would look like one thing, and then the Lord has just said, "nope, it's going to look like this instead." Well, I got to my school on Thursday morning and this happened yet again.

The school I'm student teaching at has been through a lot this summer. They just got a new principal, they've remodeled some stuff with the school, teachers have changed classrooms, and there seems to be a bit of relational drama in the school as a whole carried over from last year. So with everything being crazy, I'm pretty sure they completely forgot I was coming to student teach. I got there and found out that no one asked the teacher I was placed with if she wanted a student teacher. And she didn't. So the assistant principal walked over to a bunch of first grade teachers and asked if any of them wanted a student teacher. One said she did, so I'm now with a new teacher and in first grade instead of third.

I know that this is totally the Lord. I really really like my teacher a lot and the team of teachers in first grade are completely awesome, work really well together and are drama-free. So I'm so thankful for that. First graders are great. I really love them. They're so cute and really fun to teach. So I am excited.

But at the same time, this is not what I wanted, or why I thought I was coming to student teach in Chicago. I wanted to be in a 4th or 5th grade classroom because I wanted the experience with older students. I've already had 1st graders in one of my placements. One of the reasons I wanted to come to Chicago was so that I could get some experience dealing with rough situations that come up in an urban setting. I wanted to see how teachers dealt with behavior issues and I was hoping it would kind of give me more of a "backbone" when it comes to those situations. I think I want to teach special education in an urban high school, but the oldest grade I can teach for this semester is 5th, so that's why I wanted 4th or 5th. To get experience with behavior issues.

But obviously, that's not what God had in mind. So I'm not sure what He's doing, but I trust Him. I'll have so much experience with younger kids, it makes me wonder if that is where He's calling me instead. I have no idea. I feel like this has been happening with my thoughts about ministry as well. I keep saying that I hope to lead Young Life one day, but I honestly have no experience with High Schoolers. All the leadership positions the Lord has called me into has been leading other college students. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the Lord has in store.

I'm excited about this semester though. I'm still not really sure why I'm here, but I'm enjoying it and definitely experiencing new things. I'm excited to meet my students and see what the first day of school looks like in a first grade classroom. Students show up on Tuesday!

Welcome to Chi-town!

A camp post will be coming. One about the theme of lessons for the summer, but for now, we'll move on to my new chapter of life.

I got to spend a few days in Virginia with the absolute cutest nephews in the entire world! And then I was off to CHICAGO!


Love these little guys!


This is what you get when you say, "Jack, say 'cheese!'"


Of course Jack didn't like me the whole time I was there...until I was at the train station leaving...
I told him he better remember me at Thanksgiving :)

I took a 24 hour trip from Richmond to Chicago. It was a really long train ride, but I survived. I tried to pack as light as I possibly could. I was able to carry everything I brought for the semester. I have to say, I was quite impressed with myself. But just for the record, I would not recommend this. Even though everything fit into my bags, they were still extremely heavy. I had a carry-on sized suitcase on my back, a medium sized suitcase with my laptop bag on top and pillow on top of that in one hand, and a large suitcase that almost became the death of me in the other hand.



I thought I could check my bags once I got to D.C. Well apparently you can only check bags that weigh less than 50 lbs. Those are the bags I wouldn't have minded holding onto, I just wanted to get rid of the big bag. But, they wouldn't let me. So I had a three hour layover in D.C. and was sweating and in a lot of pain carrying around my suitcase, laptop bag and pillow. I'm gonna guess it was at least 150 pounds all together. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it, but I survived. I ended up getting some lunch and camping out at a cafe, cooling down and catching up with a dear friend. The time flew by.

Now, I'm here and I'm alive! There were many times on the train and in my first two days of being here that I just look around and ask God, "what am I doing here? and how did I get here?" I'm living in Chicago. I've never been to Chicago before. I'm here, getting thrown into a brand new city, a big city, and am doing it with 60 other people, most of whom I don't know. Crazy. The first two days seemed like chaos. So much being thrown at me, so much going on with finding housing and roommates and stuff, it was pretty overwhelming. But at the same time, I had this peace. I know this is where I'm supposed to be. I don't know why I'm here, but I know this is right. So that is a good feeling.

We got all of our housing stuff figured out yesterday, and that was COMPLETELY by the grace of God. It all worked out perfectly. I'm living in a four bedroom apartment, yes, four bedroom, with three other girls. Yes, that means I have my own room! I've only had my own room for like 3 years of my life! I'm so excited! And this is so crazy because coming into it, I was planning on sharing a one bedroom apartment with two other girls. My living situation is super sweet! I'm so thankful it all worked out and the Lord totally gets all the glory!

I head to my school tomorrow to meet my teacher. Student's don't start until Tuesday, but I'm gonna be going in on Thursday and Friday, but I'm not really sure what its going to look like. I went to the school today, I didn't go inside, but I wanted to make sure I knew how to get there. Its a bit of a commute, but could be worse. I thought it was going to be an hour and half, which is what it said when I looked it up, but it should only be 45 to 50 minutes. I'm anxious to meet my teacher and I just keep praying things work out. I'm in a third grade classroom and am definitely excited to get started. I'll let you know how it goes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

Lisa is such a dear dear friend. She was my Partner In Crime last summer. She was the other waterfront intern and she is CRAZY! (Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A rubber room. With rats. I hate rats. They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...) There is a voice that goes along with that one, but it is courtesy of Lisa :)



I went into last summer with lots of doubts and worries about working so closely with a girl all summer long. I was sure I was going to be completely sick of her. I actually started the summer with the mindset that I would try to hang out with Lisa as little as possible outside of our job. As long as we worked well together, I was fine with us not being friends outside of work.

Well the Lord blessed me abundantly with Lisa. She became such a dear friend. We spent SO much time together and I never got sick of her. I knew right from the beginning we would get along. We were already friends by our camping trip before the summer started. Anyone who knows Lisa, knows that one: she's Crazy! and two: she's so much fun to be around! We spent so much time together it was insane, and I loved every minute of it!



She brought such life and energy to the waterfront and our intern group. She loves adventure and is always up for a challenge. She's such a hard worker and loves serving people. She also has such a passion for our Savior. She is such an encouragement in finding the Lord all over the place and pointing Him out.

She is a woman of God who loves loving others and does such a good job of it. She constantly seeks to serve others and help out in any way possible. She is joyful and has such a positive attitude. I have been so blessed by our friendship and the way she takes the time to stay in touch. Lisa has continued to be such a great friend and I am so glad the Lord brought her into my life.



I love you Lisa! I hope you have a great day!

Summer came and went...

Well, I essentially went the whole summer without blogging. I'm sorry. There is way too much to catch up on to even try to begin. I'll try to give an overview.

Looking back on it, my summer was beyond amazing. The Lord blew me away in so many different ways. I learned SO much. I met so many incredible people and the Lord blessed me daily.

I have to be honest and say that at times things were rough. Really hard. Right after first session left, I'd say I hit rock bottom of the summer. I was struggling a lot with relationships. Something for some reason, I wasn't expecting to struggle with. The things I was expecting to struggle with were easy and the things I thought would be easy were really hard. God reminded me daily that He is in control, not me.

But things turned around for sure. The Lord taught me so many valuable lessons through other people as well as in my quiet times. I'll try to blog about the over-arching theme for the summer later. I had three absolutely amazing sessions of summer staffers and I can honestly say, they had an immense impact on my summer. I approached them differently this summer and made an extra effort to invest in them, and the Lord blessed those relationships greatly. I miss them. A lot. Even just thinking about them makes my heart ache. Such amazing people, such sweet times.

My relationships with the interns grew significantly as well. I miss them dearly. They have a special place in my heart. They taught me so much, loved on me and challenged me. All of them in their own ways. I learned so much about myself this summer and how I approach friendships. So many amazing lessons for the summer.

I had an absolute blast this summer. It flew by. So fast. I miss everyone so much. My heart aches to be back there. But God has new plans for me. He blessed me immensely this summer and will continue to bless me. I am off to Chicago on Sunday for a semester of student teaching. Hopefully more summer blogs will be on their way. At least one for sure.

Camp

The days of the week, dates, schedules, and time in the world disappear at camp. Everything becomes camp time, schedules and days of the week. I never know what the date is or what day of the week it is. My days are now numbered, day one, day two, day three, etc. up to day seven. Then repeat.

So much has happened since my last post. We went on some fun intern outings, went camping, had our intern training, worked for a couple more days and then summer hit! We're now half way through week two of camp and so far it has been AMAZING!!!

I love it here. I love my job, I love the people I work with, I love this camp, I love my summer staff, I love the campers. God is everywhere and constantly showering me with his love and blessings. I have already learned so much and I know I have so much more yet to learn.

I'm slowly building relationships with interns, which is always a process with some and I'm able to jump in with others. And God's already taught me a lot about myself in this area. I've had some great conversations with some unexpected people. Sometimes things are really challenging, and other times they are so sweet.

I love my summer staffers this session and am so excited about continuing to get to know them. They are all really hard workers and have awesome attitudes. They're just really awesome people too. I'm trying to soak up all the time I have with them while they're here.

The Lord has been at work in so many ways, I can't even begin to list them all. He's broken me some days, lifted me up others, but all of it is good. He is here at this camp and I love it. I am at home here. This is where I belong right now.

Photo Update

Quick recap of the last week, which was crazy fast and so much going on!

First I graduated...



My parents came! yay!


And I graduated on their 28th anniversary!

Yay for friends!













Then I packed my life in Big Haus...



I do have to say, that I am quite proud of my packing abilities...



Then, off to Nationals! This was at the banquet the first night



After Nationals, I headed to PA to spend the night at Abby's house. So much fun!

Then drove to New Jersey and dropped everything off in my grandma's basement. My awesome cousin came and helped me!

Then I FINALLY headed to camp! The last 30 minutes of my drive I was going crazy. I was so excited!

I'm here now and loving it! We were supposed to go canoeing today, but it rained, so we went on a scavenger hunt around camp and the surrounding towns. Tons of fun. Now we're off to go camping. Hopefully the rain stays away.

The Big Dance

Well it came and went.

Today was an absolute blast and I soaked up ever single second of it! God is so good and so gracious. Vaulting went well.

It was really hot out, which I'm not used to. Michigan has made me a complete wimp with the heat. Warm ups went well and then it was time to start!

My first goal for the meet was to clear opening height. I didn't want to get all the way to Nationals and no height (where you don't clear any bars). Opening was 11'5 which is the highest opening height I've ever come in at by far. I normally come in around 10'4ish, depending on the heights at the meet. But I knew I could clear 11'5, so just had to go for it. I missed on my first attempt, but made it on my second. Thank you Jesus! Goal one accomplished.

I was also having so much fun! I was soaking it all in and constantly reminding myself that I was having a blast. It was so awesome.

The bar then went up to 11'10. I missed my first and second attempts and that was scary. I knew I had more in me and I definitely didn't want to be done yet. I consciously gave it all I had and cleared it on my third attempt. Thank you Jesus! That one was seriously a miracle. And my coach told me that was the best jump I had today. It definitely felt good.

I took three jumps at 12'2 (which would have been a personal record) and didn't clear any of them. My second attempt was really close! I barely hit the bar, but it fell. And by my third attempt, my coach said I was just tired. I had taken so many jumps and with the heat, I just wasn't running as fast as I needed to. Close, but no cigar.

I'm happy with today though. I jumped well, it was the second best meet of my career, and I was really close to getting a personal best at Nationals. It would have been sweet to have actually done it, but I jumped well and am pleased. I also seriously had a blast. It was so much fun! I absolutely love pole vaulting and don't really have any intention of being completely done with it. I love it too much. I'll have to find a club team around somewhere or something. But I'm definitely happy with how things went today. It was a great way to end my collegiate career.

I ended up 16th, which I'm happy with. I moved up on the list, so that is good. Place doesn't matter a whole bunch to me, but I'm proud of that.

This has seriously totally been the Lord. My whole senior year. All my sports and everything. All completely the Lord. It is only by his talent that I am able to do anything and he absolutely gets all the glory. It is so not about me, it is all about him.

Just thinking about the miracles that happened this year...its insane. That is going to have to wait for another post. I need to get some sleep. Thank you so much for all your prayers! I'm really happy with how things turned out and I had so much fun! So much fun! To Him be the glory.

Nationals

Lots to catch up on, but not much time to type. I need to get in bed.

The day has arrived. I am in Cleveland for Track Nationals. This is real. I am living a dream. There have been multiple times while I've been here that I just stop, and remind myself that I'm at Nationals. And I think of where the Lord has taken me, the journey I have been on for so long, and am so incredibly thankful. And humbled. It is so not because of me and He gets ALL the glory. This reality often seems surreal.

Tomorrow is the Big Dance. (well, today now that its super late). I'll be vaulting at 1:00pm on Thursday. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be praying. That is seriously what I need. The times I've had people praying the hardest are the times I've competed the best. Because when it is the Holy Spirit doing the work, I am able to fade into the background. Pray for confidence and angels. Side note: My mom's taught me to pray for angels. I don't think many people pray for them, but she's taught me how. Every single night before bed while we were growing up she would pray for armies of angels to protect us. Angels got me over that 12'1 bar in order to get me here. I have no doubt in my mind about that. So yeah, pray for angels. Anyway, I covet your prayers. Please pray for physical strength as it is going to be a very hot day, and there is a chance of storms, so pray those away too.

It's been a long road and quite a journey, but I feel ready. I definitely have another meet left in me and am ready to bring it everything I've got. With confidence. Not in myself, but in the talent God has given me. He is the source and he is the recipient of all the glory. May his name be glorified through my performance tomorrow. I am here. And I am ready.

Random piece of information: I painted my fingernails black tonight for the first time in my life. It's a Calvin Nationals tradition. It feels really weird. I don't like it. But I'm all about tradition. Gotta take one for the team.

Oh, also...I am the first Calvin athlete competing in the meet, so I really want to set a good pace for the team. Please pray that this is encouraging and exciting for me and not an added pressure.

Turmoil

The last 24 hours have been all over the place.

Today was graduation. Yay! It was fun. I guess. Long and boring, but a huge life milestone, so that was good and yes, that makes it exciting.

But all last night and all today I couldn't get pole vaulting out of my head. The unknown was killing me and I was having a really hard time with the extreme possibility of not going to Nationals. My head was in constant turmoil.

I've been through every situation and scenario in my head. I've also prayed like crazy. Definitely an opportunity to trust in the Lord and his will. So much easier said than done.

Tears have already been shed as I tried to envision this dream crashing before my eyes. It was so painful to imagine. Last night I cried out to the Lord and begged him to work out the details and for me to get to Nationals. I don't want Nationals to be an idol in my heart, and I truly do not think it is, but it is something I've wanted with such passion for so long. I just cried out to God that he would get me there. He was clearly the one who got me to Nationals for diving, I knew he could do it again. But at the same time, I knew I just needed to trust. Trust in his will and his planning. If he didn't want me at Nationals, I didn't want to go. And if he wanted me there, he would get me there. As hard as it was, I had to completely commit it into the Lord's hands.

Its been tough. I practiced today, just in case, and it went really well. It was a blast and my parents got to come watch me, so that made it extra special. But I just had fun and was doing my thing and it felt good. After practice, the Lord had given me this peace. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I had a peace about it. I knew that if I didn't make it to Nationals that I would cry, it would be extremely hard, I would have lots of questions, but ultimately it was what God wanted. I wouldn't understand, but it's not my job to understand, so I was going to have to deal with it. I also knew, that if I made it, this whole experience and turmoil was exactly what I needed to get my drive for vaulting back and I would be excited all over again.

So many questions, so few answers, and just a time of waiting.

I'm pretty impatient when it comes to waiting on things like this. I get antsy.

As my parents and I were driving home from dinner, we again talked about how God is completely in control and he knows what he is doing. My dad was reminding me that whether I go to Nationals or not, God gets all the glory, and the same amount of glory. He doesn't get more glory if I go. Or if I don't go. As long as his name is being glorified, that is all that matters. And that is so in the depths of my heart. It sometimes gets clouded by this world, but my true hearts desire is to bring God glory in everything that I do. It is so not about me, but ALL about him.

Well, the unofficial entries came out tonight. They are finalized tomorrow, but often times there aren't changes. They just leave a time for people to "challenge" the list. Not completely sure of the details of that, but it often doesn't change. And the results of those unofficial entries...

I'M IN!!!

Completely and totally by the grace of God. My height was the last one to make it and they took 20 female vaulters. God is so so so good! This was not something I did, it was something the Lord did. And because of the unexpected circumstances, I truly believe it screams Jesus' name even more! May his name be lifted higher.

Well I'm definitely SO EXCITED! This is all becoming a reality and I love it! This struggle and turmoil, as much as I hate to say it, was exactly what I needed if I was going to make it to Nationals. It was a strange answer to prayer. I had been struggling with my passion and excitement for vaulting. Being so close to not going, made me realize how bad I wanted it. My drive is back. Now I definitely didn't enjoy going through this, it was hard and I was desperate, but thats the best place to be right? But I'm glad it happened. God needed to break me, and I'd say I was pretty close to rock bottom. Utterly desperate. And thats when he picks us up.

Now I definitely understand that this is easy for me to say, since things turned out the way I had hoped. This entry would probably look a bit different if I had gotten cut. Different reactions and different emotions. But I know that I have learned a lot through this. Huge lessons in the last 24 hours. I know this is where I am supposed to be and I know God has a plan. This was what I needed. I now feel ready for Nationals. My excitement is back, my passion is back, my drive is back.

Please pray that I keep my head on straight. I've been a head case and getting really mental the last couple weeks. Please pray that away. That I would be confident and aggressive these next couple days of practice and then at the meet. It's so soon. Thursday I compete. That's only five days away! So crazy!

Thank you for all your prayers! Our God is so good.

So close.

Latest update on vaulting...thought I would check the ranking list before bed. Not good news. Earlier today I was in a three way tie for 13th place. Now, I'm in a three way tie for 17th place. Not good.

The minimum field is 15, so they are required to take at least 15 vaulters. They typically take 18 or 19. Talk about being on the bubble. And they'll cut it off at a height, which effects the tie. There are only so many athletes that are invited to the meet, so it is always tight on numbers. But being in a three way tie, means either they take all three of us, or none of us. So if they're tight on numbers, most likely we'll get the boot. Or if someone hasn't turned in their entries from this weekend, and they have gone higher, I'm out.

This is pretty scary. I really don't want to see this dream crash and burn right in front of my face. I've wanted it for so long and am so close. So close.

I just have to keep praying that the Lord would be in control. May his will be done above all else. That is the true cry of my heart. But at the same time, this is something I've wanted for so long. It's seriously been a dream of mine. And the height above me, is one centimeter above me. One centimeter. I do not want to see this taken away by one centimeter.

Please pray God would work an amazing miracle somehow! He did it for diving, he can do it again. It is all completely in his hands and I have to rest in that. It doesn't make me want it any less, but it is comforting to know, that I will survive whatever happens and he will still be my King. Tears would be shed for sure though.

Reflecting on the past, enjoying the moment and preparing for the future.

I am in such a strange season of life right now. So much transition; so many emotions. I'd say that I have three pretty huge things happening in my life in the matter of two weeks. Sometimes its overwhelming, sometimes exciting, sometimes sad, and everything in between.

Graduation is this weekend. Yay! (initially) but then it gets sad too. My parents are coming and I am super stoked to see them and hang out with them! I'm definitely excited to graduate. It's a huge milestone in my life and its been a really awesome journey. The Lord has taught me so much. I am definitely leaving Calvin a different person. So insane how much you can change in four years. I start to look back and it just gets crazy. Friendships that came and went, friendships that will last a lifetime, struggles, victories, teammates, meets, summers that changed me, deep conversations...I could go on forever. It's been good. I've been where God wanted me and I can say that with complete confidence. And I think Calvin has done a great job preparing me for the world. I'm excited to move on. Terrified at times, but excited none the less.

With the excitement of graduation comes the sorrows of lasts. I've already had a lot of lasts, some maybe I haven't completely processed through (like my diving career) but many hard lasts are yet to come. My last Crossroads service has been heavy on my heart. I do not want to say bye to that Sunday gathering. That place has become my family. My last community group. Those people have really become family. And even though we've only been meeting for a short period of time, I am definitely sad to have my last small group. Those girls are so awesome. I have to say bye to so many dear friends, Calvin and Grand Rapids. I'm normally pretty good with good-byes, but so many in such a short amount of time is hard. I don't want to say bye to my dear dear friends.

And here comes loop number one: Nationals. Track Nationals still isn't a guarantee, but it is looking pretty likely that I'll make it. Final results will come out this weekend and I have one more meet to try and get a little higher height. I want to stay dedicated, determined and passionate about vaulting all the way through my season. I have to stay focused. I don't want to get distracted by everything else around me. And I'm also really excited for this experience! Again, so many emotions. This has been a dream of mine for four years and it is so close to happening. The Lord's grace is abounding.

With the excitement and joys of vaulting and clearing 12 feet, I feel like I've hit a "funk." There is a small part of me that feels satisfied. I've wanted to be a 12 foot vaulter since my high school coach told me I could be, and I've finally done it. I feel accomplished. While that is a good thing, I've lost a little drive. A little bit of that competitive edge is gone and I desperately need it back. I need to find it before Thursdays meet and I really need to get things together before Nationals. My mental game for pole vaulting has been struggling.
I think a small part of the distraction comes with loop number two: Interning at Champion. I am so excited! Excited doesn't even describe it. My heart is dying to be there. I get really excited when I talk to a fellow intern or think about getting to camp and then my heart sinks as I know almost everyone is already at camp and I'm still two weeks away. Not only am I not there, but they're all there building awesome relationships with each other. I know I'm missing out.

But then I have to stop. And rewind. Back to reality. I am where God wants me and I want to embrace every moment of it. I am so excited for camp, but I don't want to miss what God has for me in these next two weeks because I'm looking so far ahead. But then its hard, cause at the same time, I want to make sure that I am ready for camp. I want to be prepared; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. I want to get there and be able to jump right in.

I'm going to have so much processing to do before then too though. I'm approaching the last days of my athletic career. (At least in college. I can't imagine really being completely done. We'll see where God takes it.)I don't want to jump from Nationals to camp and not process things through. And then all of a sudden half way through first session have it hit me that I'll never be competing on a college sports team again.

So many things to juggle and so many emotions. I want to be able to reflect on the past, enjoy the moment and prepare for the future. In each of these three major things. How do I do all of that at the same time? My head might explode. It's a good thing I serve a fierce and powerful God who can handle anything. I just have to keep reminding myself to hand it all over to him. He is in control and he knows my heart. He will walk me through.

Yay!

I was going to blog this morning, and now I so wish I had. Today was the big day. Our MIAA Conference Championship meet was today and tomorrow. I don't have lots of time to write. I will hopefully reflect and put up pictures later, but...IT WENT REALLY WELL!!!

Our female vaulters took one, two, three and four! We swept the field and it was so great! I ended up clearing what I think I need to actually GO to Nationals! God is so good! It seriously was all because of him! I cleared 12'1 and it feels great. I've been wanting to clear 12 feet for four years and it finally happened! Jesus is seriously amazing. I never ever could have done it without him.

I had so many people for me as well. I never could have done it without my amazingly supportive teammates who where jumping and cheering with me. I couldn't have done it without my coach, even though he wasn't able to be there to see it, and I couldn't have done it without the Hope coach who told me I needed to push my standards back further. And she totally didn't need to do that for me. Calvin and Hope have a huge rivalry. I also couldn't have ever ever done it without my prayer warrior team! I text my mom, dad and sister at every meet and ask them to pray for me. If it wasn't for those prayers, I know I couldn't have done it. Lisa's prayers too. She got an extra text message to pray cause I was really needing it. Thanks to all of you! And I absolutely 100 percent couldn't have ever in a million years done it without my Savior. He changes my attitude, changes my heart and gives me angels to throw me over the bar. He is so good!

More to come later, I need to sleep. Big day full of cheering tomorrow!

Healing, Demons and Disabilities

Okay, so I am currently leading this small group with church. It is me and a few other college girls and we started about a month and a half ago. It's been awesome. The girls are so great and I love them dearly. It's definitely a humbling experience as I have no idea what I'm doing, but I just keep praying and the Lord keeps showing up, so all is well. I have been so encouraged by the girls and their hearts for the Lord. It is seriously awesome. A couple weeks ago we got talking about reading the Bible which led into the girls wanting to make a commitment to be in the word everyday. They are so great. So we decided to go through the New Testament in 40 days. It's been great. Hard, but great. It definitely takes me a long time to read, but am plugging away and I've really been enjoying it. As I've been reading through the gospels all at once and all after each other, I've definitely been learning a lot.

One thing that has really stuck out to me is how often Jesus heals people. It is all over the gospels. And the healing that has had me thinking a lot lately is when Jesus would cast demons out of people.

There is part of me that thinks our science and technology of today has reasoned out the power of healing. I definitely believe in the power of healing. I don't know that I have ever personally witnessed it, or been healed myself, but I know it is possible. There are hundreds of stories of people being healed in todays age and I have a walking sister to prove it as well. But with our advancing science and technology, we seem to reason too quickly. Since it can be explained, we can treat it in a certain way and because of the norms God has put on this earth, we will get a certain result.

The people in Jesus' day didn't think this way. If you were sick you were sick, if you were born a certain way, you would stay that way. Of course unless you could get close enough to Jesus or even one of his disciples. Then you could be healed. And all over the gospels Jesus constantly turns people back to their faith. It is their faith that heals them. Has science taken over our need for faith? Do we reason past faith?

Sorry if this seems all over the place. There is cohesion in this blog somewhere. I'll try to find it.

As a special education major, I have had many conversations in classes about disabilities; how they come about; why people have them; how we are supposed to view them; etc. Now I don't have my opinion on this one completely fleshed out, but I believe that disabilities are a result of our fallen world. It is not because of the parents sins or anything like that, but because of sin, the condition, and because we live in a fallen world, things happen in the womb and as a result, some people have disabilities. Now I absolutely think these people are amazing gifts from God who have exceptional talents and are children of God, just like me. The way we utilize their gifts and abilities as well as care for their disabilities is for another whole blog. Not the point for right now.

Anyway, I distinctly remember having this conversation in one of my special education classes last year. One argument was that God intentionally created people with disabilities. That God purposed for them to have a brain dysfunction or a chromosome missing, or an extra chromosome. I don't know. Part of me isn't thoroughly convinced. Did God initially create us as sinners? Was that his originial intent? I think the answer is no. Which would then lead me to the conclusion that I am not even created as God had originally intended. His original intent was for us to be without sin. But that changed in the Garden. Which is why I would argue that disabilities are the result of a fallen world. People with diabilities are absolutely created in God's image, just like I am. They are to be loved and cared for with the utmost patience.

So then I think back to Jesus' approach. How am I to view people with diabilities? What did Jesus do? Well first off, Jesus loved them. He was drawn to them. But then the stickler...he also healed them. Does there need to be something "wrong" in order to be healed? Are we to heal people with disabilities as well?

I'm not convinced that all people with disabilities should be healed. There is so so so much that we learn from people with disabilities that I'm not sure we would learn otherwise. But at the same time, we are to be like Jesus, and God did give us the Holy Spirit and the ability to heal people. Even though it seems to be a rarity.

But at the same time we read a story in our class about a man with a disability. He and his mom were contstantly praying for healing. His church was praying for him and his pastor just kept telling him to have more faith. He needed more faith in order to be healed. To prove the faith he had in the Lord's healing, the man stopped taking his necessary medications becuase he believed God would heal him. He ended up dying as a result. So then what do you do with that?

As I've been reading the New Testament, when I come to a story of casting out demons, I wonder why this doesn't happen today? Have demons become extinct? I don't think so. The devil is still alive and still all over the place. Spriritual warfare is still prevelant. So then, my question is, what were these demons? Maybe our science and technology has labeled it something else. The convulsions that Jesus describes in demon possessed people, what were those? Would we label it epilepsey? or a brain dysfunction? Are we to be "casting out these demons?" Do we have an explanation, so don't feel the need to pray for healing? Do we just try to fix things with medicine or certain treatments? We look at someone who has Down Syndrome and explain it by an extra chromosome in every cell of their body. Would Jesus have looked at it differently? Did the people of that day look at it differently? Maybe we're too passive in accepting our scientific reasoning. Maybe we're not.

I don't know. This is just something that I've been thinking about. I've been wrestling with it in my head. I don't have the answers. Just lots of questions. I'd love any thoughts.

Heavy Heart

This week was great. Better than expected. The Lord is so faithful and so good. I had a track meet today, but pole vaulting got canceled because of the rain. Lots more has been going on, but right now my heart is so heavy.

As I was leaving the track meet I checked my phone and had some text messages. I got news that one of my dear dear friends from this past summer just lost his younger brother in a car accident last night. My heart is so broken for him.

I can't even imagine.

I try to put myself in his shoes and I don't even know what I would do or what would be going through my head.

My heart aches for him.

I hate that I can't do anything. I wish I could fix it. I wish I could make it go away. I wish I could say something that would make him feel better. But I can't.

This is a time when I have nothing left but prayer. And I know that prayer is powerful. I have a quote on my desk that says, "Prayer is the most aggressive, pro-active, offensive, invasive action one can take in any situation...prayer reaches into the spiritual realm and accesses all the power of heaven for the circumstances of earth" - Jennifer Kennedy Dean. I absolutely know that it is true. Sometimes it is just hard to believe. I want to talk to my friend. I want to go see him. I want to DO something! I feel like sitting here, 1,000 miles away, and praying isn't doing anything. But at the same time, I know that is a complete lie. Prayer is probably the best thing for him and his family right now.

My heart is just so heavy right now.

It is literally breaking for him.

I feel like I've recently had a lot of people share bad news from their lives with me. Its hard. And selfishly there is a part of me too, that says, "okay, when's my turn? when is this going to happen to me and how am I going to deal with it?" I hope and pray so bad that it would force me to cling to the cross like I never have before, but man, that is so much easier said than done.

I just can't imagine the pain he is in and that breaks my heart. Such a dear dear friend. I don't want him to hurt. I didn't know his brother, I never met him or anything, but I can't imagine what my friend is going through. 16 year olds aren't supposed to die! Uh. I don't know. This sucks. My heart is so heavy for my friend. I just need to keep praying. That is all I can do.

Please please pray for my friend and his family. (I haven't really talked to him yet, so names may come later) Pray for amazing peace and for the Lord's name to be glorified through this whole situation. The Lord can bring good out of everything. I know that to be true. Even though this is a terrible situation.

Exhaustion

Well I have a TON of catching up to do. Continued reflections of diving, Nationals, ending a career, and transitioning right into track and going on spring break are yet to come. Hopefully. If I can find the time.

Just wanted to check in and say that I am alive and well. We got back to GR at 7:30 this morning after a 20 hour bus ride. Lots of fun :) I'm exhausted, even after a five hour nap after church today, and extremely behind in school. Slightly overwhelmed, but it will all pan out. I'm also getting sick, so that doesn't help.

It is good to be back. I need routine. After being gone for two weeks, eating at restaurants, sharing beds, sleeping on couch cushions and being completely surrounded by people 24/7, it is good to be back to daily life. As much as I'm not ready for it, since it is still insanely busy, I like having a familiar routine.

I really need prayer this week. That I will keep my eyes focused on Jesus and not on the things of this world. I've been pretty apathetic due to exhaustion lately and feel pretty ready to throw in the towel. Which I don't want to do. Please pray for strength, energy and a positive attitude this week. I also need to remind myself to not follow my emotions, but the knowledge I have in the Lord. I need to continually repeat scripture to myself this week.

All done...

Well, its over. I don't have time to write and will continue later, but wanted to just get a little bit out there. I definitely won the prize for out-funning everyone! I loved it! I had so so so much fun this afternoon! It was a truly amazing experience and I am so glad I was able to be a part of it. So glad the Lord brought me here.

My diving...started out great...didn't end well though. I had a really good warm up and start to the meet. I did really well in my first four dives. I nailed by front two and half pike which was awesome. I think it was the highest scoring single dive of the meet this morning, but I'm not positive on that. Things were going really well. I was in first after the second round and 2nd after the fourth round (so says my dad, I'm not sure if that was after my dive or the whole round.) But anyway, it was awesome.

I then bombed my next two dives, which was a bit unfortunate. By back had a good start, but I came out early and both feet were hanging off the board on my reverse. I did pretty well with what I had, but got docked a lot for it by the judges. My easy dives then went pretty well. The first two were great, last three not so hot. The other girls in the meet had really really awesome vols, so I just couldn't keep up.

I ended up in 19th place, which is totally fine. I don't care about my place at all. I was a little disappointed in my diving though. I have to be honest. It started out great, but had a bad finish. Not too much I can do about it now. I just wish I had done better. It wasn't my best meet by any means. I had so much fun today though and need to just focus on that. I've been thinking a lot about how disappointed I am and need to stop. I just know I am capable of doing better. I need to just think about my first four dives and then I feel better.

Anyway, I'll write more later but need to head back to the pool for the night session. Thank you so much for all your prayers. May the Lord's name be lifted higher!

Today is the Day

It's here. The day has arrived. All of the long practices, the early mornings, long days, big meets, time and energy. It comes down to today. In some sense. Part of me says that I've done all of that for more than this, which is true. I've built relationships along the way, the Lord has taught me SO much through the process and I have found such joy in my diving. But all of it has lead me here. This meet doesn't define my diving career, but to me, it's the icing on the cake. This is the end, the finished product of seven years of hard work. I am where the Lord wants me and I find such amazing peace in that. This is where I am supposed to be. This is where he has called me.

Today, my goal is to win the prize for being the girl at the meet that has the most fun. I want to out-fun everyone :) I just want to go to the pool and enjoy myself. Find the Lord's joy in the small things. I want to consciously enjoy each dive, reminding myself that I am having fun. I have to make myself be light-hearted and care-free. When I get anxious and nervous, I don't dive well at all.

As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning there was kind of this juggle between trying not to care, but also truly caring. I have to not worry about place. It doesn't matter what I get ranked today. That is the world trying to define me. I want to go out there and dive my best. How other girls do in comparison to that, won't affect my joy or the Lord's glory. While not caring about the world's label put on me, I do want to dive well. Which is a good thing. I have invested a lot into this sport and if I were to not care at all how today went, it would mean its all been a waste. I have to treat today like a practice. Just me on the boards, doing my thing.

It usually takes me a couple dives to get into a meet and calm down. I get nervous and as much as I don't want to, what do you do when it happens? It takes a couple dives to have those nerves go away. My first couple dives are my best ones, which is a blessing and burden at the same time. It's good that even if I have a bad hurdle, I can do the dives well enough that I can make it work. It kind of stinks though cause I know that I can do them so much better. I am going to do everything possible today to be nerve free. It's just a practice.

The best news: my salvation is not determined by how well I dive today! Thank you Jesus! Man would that be nerve racking if it was. Once I get Kingdom focused, this measly national meet becomes nothing. Nothing can come close to comparison of sitting at the feet of Jesus. Today is just an opportunity. An opportunity to spend time with my savior, being utterly dependent on him for every ounce of energy, and every thought that crosses my mind. To him be the glory today. This is not about me. It is all about him!

I would love prayers today. Prayer for calm confidence and resting in his peace and joy. And that I'll dive well, to the best of my ability. I'll let you know how it goes!

If you want, you can watch it live online. Go to www.ncaa.com then click on the tab at the top that says "Championships." Scroll down and find Women's Swimming and Diving. Click on the "Championships Home Page" for Division III. Under the picture of the pool there is something that says, "watch live." Click on that and you should be good to go. I'll be diving during Session III at 1:00 this afternoon, but that is Central Time. So it would be 2:00 Eastern Time.

Day Two

Well it's late and I don't really have time to write. Nothing too exciting happened today. Actually...that is totally not true. My dad came tonight! Yay!

We got on the boards and practiced this morning. Everything went fine. It was a really long day at the pool. Casey and I stayed and watched the boys three meter in between the swimming sessions. My back hurts from sitting in bleachers all day. But watching the boys definitely got me excited to dive tomorrow. The boys performance this afternoon was less than impressive. Most of the guys you could tell were getting really mental and thinking way too much. As a result, many didn't do as well as they could have. It was a great example for me to stop thinking and just have fun!

I'm definitely excited for tomorrow and just praying that I am able to keep my nerves under control and just enjoy diving in my last meet. I'll try to update tomorrow morning.

Day One

Today I was able to wake up early and spend some solid time with the Lord. So what my soul needed. I just get overwhelmed by the Lord's greatness every time I think about being here. It is 100% because of him and I am so thankful to have this opportunity. It has already been a ton of fun!

We got up and went to breakfast as a team at a little bagel shop. It was good.



I was able to get on the boards today, which was great. I am someone who takes a while to adjust to other pools and boards, so having two days to practice before I compete is great. Today we just played around in the morning. Did easy dives, lots of jumps and standings. The diving well here has a really dark blue bottom, which is different from our light blue pool back home. It has taken me longer than I would have thought to get used to it. Spotting is a little different. When you see the dark blue you are actually seeing the bottom of the pool, whereas in our pool, since it is lighter and looks brighter, you end up seeing the water, not the bottom of the pool. So the spotting of my dives is a little different. Its just taking some time to get used to, but it hasn't been too bad. Practice as a whole went well this morning. Nothing spectacular, but just getting a feel for the new surroundings.






Casey and I then came back and chilled at our hotel for a little while. I was able to email some friends and just relax. We then went out to lunch with the team to Chipotle, which is always a good option. I ate my entire burrito, which was delicious.





We then came back to the hotel and chilled some more. Then Casey and I went back to the pool and got on the boards again, this time doing our harder dives. Things went well again. Still adjusting, but nothing terrible.

Being at the pool has definitely started to make this a reality. I still feel like competing is so far away since its not till Thursday, but everything is starting to set in. I've been still kind of feeling inadequate. I just feel like I'm not a good enough diver to be able to say that I competed at a National Championship. I'm just an ordinary girl. There's nothing spectacular or magical about me. I'm not really all that good of a diver. That's a pretty honest statement. I just keep thinking, "I'm not really that good." And I don't really think this is a super negative way either. I love diving, I've definitely improved a significant amount over the past two years, but I'm nothing special. I don't win meets or beat a lot of people I dive against. I don't have a bunch of medals (or even any for that matter) or honors in diving. I'm just your average girl who loves to dive and for some reason can rip the water pretty well.

But sometimes I have the flip side as well. As much as I hate comparison, it is hard to watch girls from other teams and not mentally think about if you can do the dive they just did better than that. The whole, "sizing up your competition" thing. I don't like doing it, and its not something I think about a lot, but there definitely are those passing thoughts. And honestly, after today, I know that if I dive to the best of my ability I can beat some people. This kind of encourages me for a second, but then things start to go downhill. I then start thinking about places and scoring points and getting to repeat my dives and wanting to do well and then I get nervous and try too hard and then I look like I've never dove before in my life. So it turns into bad thinking. I am here to have fun. I am here to embrace this opportunity. I will dive for the Lord's glory and his glory alone. I am here to learn what the Lord has to teach me.

After our second practice Casey and I grabbed some smoothies, which were excellent. Man, I love smoothies! And then headed back to our room.



Tonight we had the kick off banquet. Everyone got dressed up and we had a formal dinner with an Olympic swimmer as a speaker. The food was pretty good and it was fun to officially start things off. It is truly an honor to be here. I feel so unworthy. I am unworthy. The Lord gets ALL the glory. He got me here. I don't know how many times I've said that, but it is completely the truth. He got me here and he is going to walk me through this week. What a faithful Father I have. He is so worthy. I just have to trust in him. He knows the results, he knows what is going to happen. He has a plan. I'm just along for the ride :)







Oh yeah, and my dad gets here tomorrow!!! WHOO HOO!