Well I have a TON of catching up to do. Continued reflections of diving, Nationals, ending a career, and transitioning right into track and going on spring break are yet to come. Hopefully. If I can find the time.
Just wanted to check in and say that I am alive and well. We got back to GR at 7:30 this morning after a 20 hour bus ride. Lots of fun :) I'm exhausted, even after a five hour nap after church today, and extremely behind in school. Slightly overwhelmed, but it will all pan out. I'm also getting sick, so that doesn't help.
It is good to be back. I need routine. After being gone for two weeks, eating at restaurants, sharing beds, sleeping on couch cushions and being completely surrounded by people 24/7, it is good to be back to daily life. As much as I'm not ready for it, since it is still insanely busy, I like having a familiar routine.
I really need prayer this week. That I will keep my eyes focused on Jesus and not on the things of this world. I've been pretty apathetic due to exhaustion lately and feel pretty ready to throw in the towel. Which I don't want to do. Please pray for strength, energy and a positive attitude this week. I also need to remind myself to not follow my emotions, but the knowledge I have in the Lord. I need to continually repeat scripture to myself this week.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
All done...
Well, its over. I don't have time to write and will continue later, but wanted to just get a little bit out there. I definitely won the prize for out-funning everyone! I loved it! I had so so so much fun this afternoon! It was a truly amazing experience and I am so glad I was able to be a part of it. So glad the Lord brought me here.
My diving...started out great...didn't end well though. I had a really good warm up and start to the meet. I did really well in my first four dives. I nailed by front two and half pike which was awesome. I think it was the highest scoring single dive of the meet this morning, but I'm not positive on that. Things were going really well. I was in first after the second round and 2nd after the fourth round (so says my dad, I'm not sure if that was after my dive or the whole round.) But anyway, it was awesome.
I then bombed my next two dives, which was a bit unfortunate. By back had a good start, but I came out early and both feet were hanging off the board on my reverse. I did pretty well with what I had, but got docked a lot for it by the judges. My easy dives then went pretty well. The first two were great, last three not so hot. The other girls in the meet had really really awesome vols, so I just couldn't keep up.
I ended up in 19th place, which is totally fine. I don't care about my place at all. I was a little disappointed in my diving though. I have to be honest. It started out great, but had a bad finish. Not too much I can do about it now. I just wish I had done better. It wasn't my best meet by any means. I had so much fun today though and need to just focus on that. I've been thinking a lot about how disappointed I am and need to stop. I just know I am capable of doing better. I need to just think about my first four dives and then I feel better.
Anyway, I'll write more later but need to head back to the pool for the night session. Thank you so much for all your prayers. May the Lord's name be lifted higher!
My diving...started out great...didn't end well though. I had a really good warm up and start to the meet. I did really well in my first four dives. I nailed by front two and half pike which was awesome. I think it was the highest scoring single dive of the meet this morning, but I'm not positive on that. Things were going really well. I was in first after the second round and 2nd after the fourth round (so says my dad, I'm not sure if that was after my dive or the whole round.) But anyway, it was awesome.
I then bombed my next two dives, which was a bit unfortunate. By back had a good start, but I came out early and both feet were hanging off the board on my reverse. I did pretty well with what I had, but got docked a lot for it by the judges. My easy dives then went pretty well. The first two were great, last three not so hot. The other girls in the meet had really really awesome vols, so I just couldn't keep up.
I ended up in 19th place, which is totally fine. I don't care about my place at all. I was a little disappointed in my diving though. I have to be honest. It started out great, but had a bad finish. Not too much I can do about it now. I just wish I had done better. It wasn't my best meet by any means. I had so much fun today though and need to just focus on that. I've been thinking a lot about how disappointed I am and need to stop. I just know I am capable of doing better. I need to just think about my first four dives and then I feel better.
Anyway, I'll write more later but need to head back to the pool for the night session. Thank you so much for all your prayers. May the Lord's name be lifted higher!
Today is the Day
It's here. The day has arrived. All of the long practices, the early mornings, long days, big meets, time and energy. It comes down to today. In some sense. Part of me says that I've done all of that for more than this, which is true. I've built relationships along the way, the Lord has taught me SO much through the process and I have found such joy in my diving. But all of it has lead me here. This meet doesn't define my diving career, but to me, it's the icing on the cake. This is the end, the finished product of seven years of hard work. I am where the Lord wants me and I find such amazing peace in that. This is where I am supposed to be. This is where he has called me.
Today, my goal is to win the prize for being the girl at the meet that has the most fun. I want to out-fun everyone :) I just want to go to the pool and enjoy myself. Find the Lord's joy in the small things. I want to consciously enjoy each dive, reminding myself that I am having fun. I have to make myself be light-hearted and care-free. When I get anxious and nervous, I don't dive well at all.
As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning there was kind of this juggle between trying not to care, but also truly caring. I have to not worry about place. It doesn't matter what I get ranked today. That is the world trying to define me. I want to go out there and dive my best. How other girls do in comparison to that, won't affect my joy or the Lord's glory. While not caring about the world's label put on me, I do want to dive well. Which is a good thing. I have invested a lot into this sport and if I were to not care at all how today went, it would mean its all been a waste. I have to treat today like a practice. Just me on the boards, doing my thing.
It usually takes me a couple dives to get into a meet and calm down. I get nervous and as much as I don't want to, what do you do when it happens? It takes a couple dives to have those nerves go away. My first couple dives are my best ones, which is a blessing and burden at the same time. It's good that even if I have a bad hurdle, I can do the dives well enough that I can make it work. It kind of stinks though cause I know that I can do them so much better. I am going to do everything possible today to be nerve free. It's just a practice.
The best news: my salvation is not determined by how well I dive today! Thank you Jesus! Man would that be nerve racking if it was. Once I get Kingdom focused, this measly national meet becomes nothing. Nothing can come close to comparison of sitting at the feet of Jesus. Today is just an opportunity. An opportunity to spend time with my savior, being utterly dependent on him for every ounce of energy, and every thought that crosses my mind. To him be the glory today. This is not about me. It is all about him!
I would love prayers today. Prayer for calm confidence and resting in his peace and joy. And that I'll dive well, to the best of my ability. I'll let you know how it goes!
If you want, you can watch it live online. Go to www.ncaa.com then click on the tab at the top that says "Championships." Scroll down and find Women's Swimming and Diving. Click on the "Championships Home Page" for Division III. Under the picture of the pool there is something that says, "watch live." Click on that and you should be good to go. I'll be diving during Session III at 1:00 this afternoon, but that is Central Time. So it would be 2:00 Eastern Time.
Today, my goal is to win the prize for being the girl at the meet that has the most fun. I want to out-fun everyone :) I just want to go to the pool and enjoy myself. Find the Lord's joy in the small things. I want to consciously enjoy each dive, reminding myself that I am having fun. I have to make myself be light-hearted and care-free. When I get anxious and nervous, I don't dive well at all.
As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning there was kind of this juggle between trying not to care, but also truly caring. I have to not worry about place. It doesn't matter what I get ranked today. That is the world trying to define me. I want to go out there and dive my best. How other girls do in comparison to that, won't affect my joy or the Lord's glory. While not caring about the world's label put on me, I do want to dive well. Which is a good thing. I have invested a lot into this sport and if I were to not care at all how today went, it would mean its all been a waste. I have to treat today like a practice. Just me on the boards, doing my thing.
It usually takes me a couple dives to get into a meet and calm down. I get nervous and as much as I don't want to, what do you do when it happens? It takes a couple dives to have those nerves go away. My first couple dives are my best ones, which is a blessing and burden at the same time. It's good that even if I have a bad hurdle, I can do the dives well enough that I can make it work. It kind of stinks though cause I know that I can do them so much better. I am going to do everything possible today to be nerve free. It's just a practice.
The best news: my salvation is not determined by how well I dive today! Thank you Jesus! Man would that be nerve racking if it was. Once I get Kingdom focused, this measly national meet becomes nothing. Nothing can come close to comparison of sitting at the feet of Jesus. Today is just an opportunity. An opportunity to spend time with my savior, being utterly dependent on him for every ounce of energy, and every thought that crosses my mind. To him be the glory today. This is not about me. It is all about him!
I would love prayers today. Prayer for calm confidence and resting in his peace and joy. And that I'll dive well, to the best of my ability. I'll let you know how it goes!
If you want, you can watch it live online. Go to www.ncaa.com then click on the tab at the top that says "Championships." Scroll down and find Women's Swimming and Diving. Click on the "Championships Home Page" for Division III. Under the picture of the pool there is something that says, "watch live." Click on that and you should be good to go. I'll be diving during Session III at 1:00 this afternoon, but that is Central Time. So it would be 2:00 Eastern Time.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Day Two
Well it's late and I don't really have time to write. Nothing too exciting happened today. Actually...that is totally not true. My dad came tonight! Yay!
We got on the boards and practiced this morning. Everything went fine. It was a really long day at the pool. Casey and I stayed and watched the boys three meter in between the swimming sessions. My back hurts from sitting in bleachers all day. But watching the boys definitely got me excited to dive tomorrow. The boys performance this afternoon was less than impressive. Most of the guys you could tell were getting really mental and thinking way too much. As a result, many didn't do as well as they could have. It was a great example for me to stop thinking and just have fun!
I'm definitely excited for tomorrow and just praying that I am able to keep my nerves under control and just enjoy diving in my last meet. I'll try to update tomorrow morning.
We got on the boards and practiced this morning. Everything went fine. It was a really long day at the pool. Casey and I stayed and watched the boys three meter in between the swimming sessions. My back hurts from sitting in bleachers all day. But watching the boys definitely got me excited to dive tomorrow. The boys performance this afternoon was less than impressive. Most of the guys you could tell were getting really mental and thinking way too much. As a result, many didn't do as well as they could have. It was a great example for me to stop thinking and just have fun!
I'm definitely excited for tomorrow and just praying that I am able to keep my nerves under control and just enjoy diving in my last meet. I'll try to update tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day One
Today I was able to wake up early and spend some solid time with the Lord. So what my soul needed. I just get overwhelmed by the Lord's greatness every time I think about being here. It is 100% because of him and I am so thankful to have this opportunity. It has already been a ton of fun!
We got up and went to breakfast as a team at a little bagel shop. It was good.
I was able to get on the boards today, which was great. I am someone who takes a while to adjust to other pools and boards, so having two days to practice before I compete is great. Today we just played around in the morning. Did easy dives, lots of jumps and standings. The diving well here has a really dark blue bottom, which is different from our light blue pool back home. It has taken me longer than I would have thought to get used to it. Spotting is a little different. When you see the dark blue you are actually seeing the bottom of the pool, whereas in our pool, since it is lighter and looks brighter, you end up seeing the water, not the bottom of the pool. So the spotting of my dives is a little different. Its just taking some time to get used to, but it hasn't been too bad. Practice as a whole went well this morning. Nothing spectacular, but just getting a feel for the new surroundings.
Casey and I then came back and chilled at our hotel for a little while. I was able to email some friends and just relax. We then went out to lunch with the team to Chipotle, which is always a good option. I ate my entire burrito, which was delicious.
We then came back to the hotel and chilled some more. Then Casey and I went back to the pool and got on the boards again, this time doing our harder dives. Things went well again. Still adjusting, but nothing terrible.
Being at the pool has definitely started to make this a reality. I still feel like competing is so far away since its not till Thursday, but everything is starting to set in. I've been still kind of feeling inadequate. I just feel like I'm not a good enough diver to be able to say that I competed at a National Championship. I'm just an ordinary girl. There's nothing spectacular or magical about me. I'm not really all that good of a diver. That's a pretty honest statement. I just keep thinking, "I'm not really that good." And I don't really think this is a super negative way either. I love diving, I've definitely improved a significant amount over the past two years, but I'm nothing special. I don't win meets or beat a lot of people I dive against. I don't have a bunch of medals (or even any for that matter) or honors in diving. I'm just your average girl who loves to dive and for some reason can rip the water pretty well.
But sometimes I have the flip side as well. As much as I hate comparison, it is hard to watch girls from other teams and not mentally think about if you can do the dive they just did better than that. The whole, "sizing up your competition" thing. I don't like doing it, and its not something I think about a lot, but there definitely are those passing thoughts. And honestly, after today, I know that if I dive to the best of my ability I can beat some people. This kind of encourages me for a second, but then things start to go downhill. I then start thinking about places and scoring points and getting to repeat my dives and wanting to do well and then I get nervous and try too hard and then I look like I've never dove before in my life. So it turns into bad thinking. I am here to have fun. I am here to embrace this opportunity. I will dive for the Lord's glory and his glory alone. I am here to learn what the Lord has to teach me.
After our second practice Casey and I grabbed some smoothies, which were excellent. Man, I love smoothies! And then headed back to our room.
Tonight we had the kick off banquet. Everyone got dressed up and we had a formal dinner with an Olympic swimmer as a speaker. The food was pretty good and it was fun to officially start things off. It is truly an honor to be here. I feel so unworthy. I am unworthy. The Lord gets ALL the glory. He got me here. I don't know how many times I've said that, but it is completely the truth. He got me here and he is going to walk me through this week. What a faithful Father I have. He is so worthy. I just have to trust in him. He knows the results, he knows what is going to happen. He has a plan. I'm just along for the ride :)
Oh yeah, and my dad gets here tomorrow!!! WHOO HOO!
We got up and went to breakfast as a team at a little bagel shop. It was good.
I was able to get on the boards today, which was great. I am someone who takes a while to adjust to other pools and boards, so having two days to practice before I compete is great. Today we just played around in the morning. Did easy dives, lots of jumps and standings. The diving well here has a really dark blue bottom, which is different from our light blue pool back home. It has taken me longer than I would have thought to get used to it. Spotting is a little different. When you see the dark blue you are actually seeing the bottom of the pool, whereas in our pool, since it is lighter and looks brighter, you end up seeing the water, not the bottom of the pool. So the spotting of my dives is a little different. Its just taking some time to get used to, but it hasn't been too bad. Practice as a whole went well this morning. Nothing spectacular, but just getting a feel for the new surroundings.
Casey and I then came back and chilled at our hotel for a little while. I was able to email some friends and just relax. We then went out to lunch with the team to Chipotle, which is always a good option. I ate my entire burrito, which was delicious.
We then came back to the hotel and chilled some more. Then Casey and I went back to the pool and got on the boards again, this time doing our harder dives. Things went well again. Still adjusting, but nothing terrible.
Being at the pool has definitely started to make this a reality. I still feel like competing is so far away since its not till Thursday, but everything is starting to set in. I've been still kind of feeling inadequate. I just feel like I'm not a good enough diver to be able to say that I competed at a National Championship. I'm just an ordinary girl. There's nothing spectacular or magical about me. I'm not really all that good of a diver. That's a pretty honest statement. I just keep thinking, "I'm not really that good." And I don't really think this is a super negative way either. I love diving, I've definitely improved a significant amount over the past two years, but I'm nothing special. I don't win meets or beat a lot of people I dive against. I don't have a bunch of medals (or even any for that matter) or honors in diving. I'm just your average girl who loves to dive and for some reason can rip the water pretty well.
But sometimes I have the flip side as well. As much as I hate comparison, it is hard to watch girls from other teams and not mentally think about if you can do the dive they just did better than that. The whole, "sizing up your competition" thing. I don't like doing it, and its not something I think about a lot, but there definitely are those passing thoughts. And honestly, after today, I know that if I dive to the best of my ability I can beat some people. This kind of encourages me for a second, but then things start to go downhill. I then start thinking about places and scoring points and getting to repeat my dives and wanting to do well and then I get nervous and try too hard and then I look like I've never dove before in my life. So it turns into bad thinking. I am here to have fun. I am here to embrace this opportunity. I will dive for the Lord's glory and his glory alone. I am here to learn what the Lord has to teach me.
After our second practice Casey and I grabbed some smoothies, which were excellent. Man, I love smoothies! And then headed back to our room.
Tonight we had the kick off banquet. Everyone got dressed up and we had a formal dinner with an Olympic swimmer as a speaker. The food was pretty good and it was fun to officially start things off. It is truly an honor to be here. I feel so unworthy. I am unworthy. The Lord gets ALL the glory. He got me here. I don't know how many times I've said that, but it is completely the truth. He got me here and he is going to walk me through this week. What a faithful Father I have. He is so worthy. I just have to trust in him. He knows the results, he knows what is going to happen. He has a plan. I'm just along for the ride :)
Oh yeah, and my dad gets here tomorrow!!! WHOO HOO!
Monday, March 15, 2010
And so it begins...
Well it is late and I don't have a ton to say, but I'M HERE! This is so crazy! We had an easy and safe flight and all the luggage made it. Thank you Jesus! We are staying in a nice hotel right by the pool. We got here, grabbed some dinner and have just been laying low. Here are some pictures!
Waiting at the airport!
(This isn't all the girls, there are 8 of us)
Waiting at the airport!
(This isn't all the girls, there are 8 of us)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Less than 24 hours
Reality is setting in. I still can't believe it. The Lord is so amazing. I am pretty much done packing and finishing up the last minute details. I'm off to Minnesota tomorrow afternoon! It'll be my first time there too.
When I sit down and think about it, my mind just gets boggled with all that the Lord has done. I can't believe it. I can't believe he picked me. I can't believe the journey he sent me on. Struggles, trials, triumphs, joys, tears, heartaches, excitement. It's been a long road, but I couldn't ever imagine a better way to end it.
Thats another whole story too. The end of my journey. There will be much to reflect on that as the days continue. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of blogging over the next week. Once I figure it all out I will post how you can keep up with Nationals if that is something you'd like to do. You will be able to watch it live online and see the results of how things are going. I dive on Thursday afternoon. I'll put the links and details up once I get them squared away.
I'm definitely excited and the anticipation is starting to build. Once we're off to the airport I know its going to really sink in. I just want to embrace this opportunity. This experience. I'm not looking at it as a meet or competition. It is a life experience and one that few people get to experience. It is all because of the Lord. I just can't take my eyes off of him. He got me to this place. That .25 or whatever it was at conference that qualified me in order to send in a tape, the whole process, the last 4 years, really 7 years... All of it screams out Jesus! He has given me this opportunity and I will not waste it. May I be completely filled with his joy this week; in constant communion with our Father.
My goal for the week: HAVE FUN! I don't care how I do. I would like to dive to the best of my ability, but if I bomb a couple dives, it's okay. I am completely content in getting 22nd. In fact, that is what I am expecting. Being the 22nd girl in the nation is fine by me. Anything above that would just be extra icing on the cake with all the glory pointing straight to Jesus. I am going to go there and take in the experience and have a blast with it!
I'll keep you updated on everything. Please pray for safe travels and no lost luggage!
When I sit down and think about it, my mind just gets boggled with all that the Lord has done. I can't believe it. I can't believe he picked me. I can't believe the journey he sent me on. Struggles, trials, triumphs, joys, tears, heartaches, excitement. It's been a long road, but I couldn't ever imagine a better way to end it.
Thats another whole story too. The end of my journey. There will be much to reflect on that as the days continue. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of blogging over the next week. Once I figure it all out I will post how you can keep up with Nationals if that is something you'd like to do. You will be able to watch it live online and see the results of how things are going. I dive on Thursday afternoon. I'll put the links and details up once I get them squared away.
I'm definitely excited and the anticipation is starting to build. Once we're off to the airport I know its going to really sink in. I just want to embrace this opportunity. This experience. I'm not looking at it as a meet or competition. It is a life experience and one that few people get to experience. It is all because of the Lord. I just can't take my eyes off of him. He got me to this place. That .25 or whatever it was at conference that qualified me in order to send in a tape, the whole process, the last 4 years, really 7 years... All of it screams out Jesus! He has given me this opportunity and I will not waste it. May I be completely filled with his joy this week; in constant communion with our Father.
My goal for the week: HAVE FUN! I don't care how I do. I would like to dive to the best of my ability, but if I bomb a couple dives, it's okay. I am completely content in getting 22nd. In fact, that is what I am expecting. Being the 22nd girl in the nation is fine by me. Anything above that would just be extra icing on the cake with all the glory pointing straight to Jesus. I am going to go there and take in the experience and have a blast with it!
I'll keep you updated on everything. Please pray for safe travels and no lost luggage!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Down to One
Well I'm down to one sport. Okay completely honestly, not the sport I would choose, but I'm trying to not be a brat about it. I'm taking a little break from vaulting while I focus on diving at Nationals.
I am officially not going to Indoor Nationals. Pretty disappointed just because I really wanted to go, but it's okay. I still have Outdoor. The list came out today. Three and a half inches. I missed the cut by three and a half inches...again! Thats how much I missed it by last year for Outdoor. Arg!
But I'm enjoying being a one sport athlete for now. I'll have two weeks of it, so hopefully that will be nice. It's been a while since thats been the case. I keep having to remind myself that God is in control and he has a plan. I'm not the biggest fan of the plan, but have to keep telling myself to stop being a brat when I think about it that way. I get to go to Nationals and that is awesome. And I'm going to the Nationals meet God wants me at. And its going to be really fun and an amazing experience! I really am excited. Tired, but excited.
My emotions towards diving Nationals is a daily roller coaster (if you couldn't tell). On one hand this season has been so long! I just need a break from diving. I've been on the boards and in chlorine every single day since the middle of September. September! That was like 6 months ago! Thats a long time. And I've been doing the same 11 dives on one meter for the past two years. Everyday. The same dives. I just need a break. I'm sad about ending my diving career, but right now I need a break from it. Lately I've been getting to practice and just don't really want to be there. I'm out of energy.
But then at the same time, when I start talking with Aaron and Casey about Nationals and actually going and the whole experience I get really really excited! I often forget that this is a reality. That I'm really getting on a plane, going to Minnesota and competing at a National meet! That is so insane! I'm definitely excited, just struggling for the energy to get there. It's only a week away! I'm just excited to go and soak in the whole experience. This is where God wants me, so I just have to trust in his will and rest in his peace.
I am officially not going to Indoor Nationals. Pretty disappointed just because I really wanted to go, but it's okay. I still have Outdoor. The list came out today. Three and a half inches. I missed the cut by three and a half inches...again! Thats how much I missed it by last year for Outdoor. Arg!
But I'm enjoying being a one sport athlete for now. I'll have two weeks of it, so hopefully that will be nice. It's been a while since thats been the case. I keep having to remind myself that God is in control and he has a plan. I'm not the biggest fan of the plan, but have to keep telling myself to stop being a brat when I think about it that way. I get to go to Nationals and that is awesome. And I'm going to the Nationals meet God wants me at. And its going to be really fun and an amazing experience! I really am excited. Tired, but excited.
My emotions towards diving Nationals is a daily roller coaster (if you couldn't tell). On one hand this season has been so long! I just need a break from diving. I've been on the boards and in chlorine every single day since the middle of September. September! That was like 6 months ago! Thats a long time. And I've been doing the same 11 dives on one meter for the past two years. Everyday. The same dives. I just need a break. I'm sad about ending my diving career, but right now I need a break from it. Lately I've been getting to practice and just don't really want to be there. I'm out of energy.
But then at the same time, when I start talking with Aaron and Casey about Nationals and actually going and the whole experience I get really really excited! I often forget that this is a reality. That I'm really getting on a plane, going to Minnesota and competing at a National meet! That is so insane! I'm definitely excited, just struggling for the energy to get there. It's only a week away! I'm just excited to go and soak in the whole experience. This is where God wants me, so I just have to trust in his will and rest in his peace.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILLIAN!
I would say that Gillian has been an unexpected blessing in my life this year. She is a fantastic roommate and before this year, we really didn't know each other very well. This year I have so enjoyed getting to know her better and living with her.
Anyone who knows Gill knows that she is a servant. She loves serving people and she does it so well! She is constantly looking out for the needs of others which is such a blessing. She literally takes care of me. For real. I would definitely be stressed if I didn't have Gillian in my life. Almost daily she feeds me! What an awesome friend! I'll come home from being gone all day and get back late from practice and dinner will be on the table waiting for me! And this is another college girl who's got so much going on, yet takes the time to cook me meals and love on me. There are plenty of nights I would go without dinner if it weren't for her.
Even just the other day, my schedule was completely packed. I had practice till 6 and class at 6:30 so I was just planning on packing a dinner and eating it in class. Gillian didn't want me to have to eat another sandwich so offered to make me dinner and have it in a tupperware all ready for me so I could run home, grab it and leave! How AMAZING is that?! She is constantly serving me and has been such a blessing in my life. Oh yeah, and the best part...she's a really good cook! She's really a baker at heart and is amazing at that as well, but definitely cooks some amazing dinners.
There are countless times Gillian has gone grocery shopping for me or offered to help me out in any way to make my schedule a little less hectic. She has become such a dear dear friend.
Gillian is also hilarious. We have great laughs and enjoy sitting down for dinner and talking over our days. It is because of her that I, along with countless others, now have the word "scrumpins" in our everyday vocabulary. She has also introduced me to the emotion "muhrrr" which is just as it sounds. Through living with Gill my wardrobe has now doubled and we often pick out "professional outfits" for each other to wear.
It was amazing to have someone to partner with during the diving season. Gill is a swimmer and so we were able to share in the joys and pains of the season. It was great to hear the swimmer side of everything as well.
I can't even explain what a blessing Gillian has been in my life. She has become such a dear friend so fast. Her servant's heart, outgoing personality and willingness to listen has truly blessed me.
Have a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY GILLIAN! Love you!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Continued theme of Trust
Well last night was a bit of a dissapoint. Okay, well maybe a lot. I ended up vaulting terribly. I no-heighted, which means I didn't clear any bars. It stinks. It was a huge bummer. I haven't vaulted that bad in a long time, and to do it during my last chance to get to Nationals was hard.
I just have to keep reminding myself that the Lord is in control. He has a plan and he knows what he is doing. It's definitely not my plan, but His plans are so much better. I'm on my plan C, but I guess this is God's plan A. I qualified for Nationals in diving, so I can't complain at all. I just wanted it so bad! Uh. Oh well. I'm going to be the first height cut on the list most likely, which is just frustrating. So close, yet again. I just seem to always be 2-3 inches off getting to Nationals for vaulting.
But again, I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan. I have to trust in his ways. Like I said before the meet, he knew what the results would be. He knew I was going to do terrible and I have to just be content with it. I can still bring the Lord glory through all of this. He can see the big picture. I don't understand and I don't see it, but the Lord is totally in control.
If you would like to pray for a huge miracle, pray that for some insane reason they decide to take more vaulters than normal. I think the official list comes out tomorrow. If they were to take my height it would be 19 girls total since some of us share a height. They only have to take 11, but last year took 16. So, yeah. It's not going to happen, I'm not getting my hopes up. But then again, God can do anything, right?
Well this is definitely a time for me to trust in the Lord and trust in his will and plans for my life. It's small steps, but sure is requiring my trust. And I do trust in him.
I just have to keep reminding myself that the Lord is in control. He has a plan and he knows what he is doing. It's definitely not my plan, but His plans are so much better. I'm on my plan C, but I guess this is God's plan A. I qualified for Nationals in diving, so I can't complain at all. I just wanted it so bad! Uh. Oh well. I'm going to be the first height cut on the list most likely, which is just frustrating. So close, yet again. I just seem to always be 2-3 inches off getting to Nationals for vaulting.
But again, I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan. I have to trust in his ways. Like I said before the meet, he knew what the results would be. He knew I was going to do terrible and I have to just be content with it. I can still bring the Lord glory through all of this. He can see the big picture. I don't understand and I don't see it, but the Lord is totally in control.
If you would like to pray for a huge miracle, pray that for some insane reason they decide to take more vaulters than normal. I think the official list comes out tomorrow. If they were to take my height it would be 19 girls total since some of us share a height. They only have to take 11, but last year took 16. So, yeah. It's not going to happen, I'm not getting my hopes up. But then again, God can do anything, right?
Well this is definitely a time for me to trust in the Lord and trust in his will and plans for my life. It's small steps, but sure is requiring my trust. And I do trust in him.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Trust in His will
So the other day I was thinking and praying. This whole two sports thing is busy. I absolutely love it, I enjoy every minute of it, but it's busy. I haven't gotten a chance to really hang out with my friends in a while and my schedule is just so full. Student teaching all day. Diving practice. Track Practice. Dinner. Night event of some sort. Sleep and repeat. I have seriously been loving it though. Just hard to keep in touch with people. Anyway, I was thinking and praying about this whole waiting game. I knew I would find out this week about diving and I was talking to the Lord about it.
I definitely wanted to make it to Nationals, but I just didn't see it as a reality. There was part of me that was looking forward to finally being down to one sport. Diving season is so long and got lengthened by qualifying, and then the potentiality of it being even longer because of making it to Nationals. I was ready for things to slow down. But as I was praying about it, I really prayed that the Lord's will would be done. Whatever he wanted to have happen, I would be okay with it. I was perfectly content on not making it. In fact, I was expecting it.
But...God had different plans. As of today, I am going to Nationals for diving! AHH! It is so crazy. So many things sprinting through my head. I was shocked. Completely shocked. I wasn't expecting it at all. I felt like everything was against me with only doing one meter. I didn't think I really had a chance. But...God works miracles! I can't even explain how much this screams out God's Glory! It is only because of him that I made it and he gets all the glory and praise. I can say with confidence that I know it is the Lord's will that I made it to Nationals. It is because of him. 100%. And I have to trust in his will. This is where I am supposed to be.
I am really excited and just feel like this is a really big honor. Something I wouldn't have EVER dreamed up in a million years. Honestly, I'm feeling quite inadequate, but I know that's not of the Lord, so have to trust in him. Just thinking back on my diving journey, especially since high school, it is insane. I have learned so much and come so far. And honestly not because of anything that has to do with me. The Lord has revealed so much to me and he gets all the glory. I've also had awesome coaches and teammates. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for Aaron, I may have quit diving my freshman year. I tried, but he didn't let me. And I seriously owe SO much to Erica. If it wasn't for her, I for sure wouldn't still be diving. She was such an encouragement to me my sophomore and junior year. All of my teammates have had a tremendous impact on me as a diver. Each one over the course of the last four years. I've needed all of them.
At practice today, standing in our brand new state of the art Olympic sized pool, Casey and I were reminiscing about the good ol' freshman days. We had a tiny pool dungeon and 10 divers. I couldn't do half of the dives I do now and I hated three meter. Well, I do still hate three meter, but the fact that I don't do it anymore, doesn't make me hate diving. Man, it has been such a journey. But I would say that qualifying for Nationals my Senior year couldn't be a better ending. My goal is go to Nationals and HAVE FUN! I want to take in the whole experience and just enjoy it. I don't care how I do. If I'm last, I'm totally okay with that. I'll take being the 22nd best girl diver in the Nation at a division three school. That is fine by me. 22 is a great number anyway :) My parent's favorite. So, the season isn't over and my diving career isn't over, but it is headed in a great direction. I couldn't ask for more. May the Lord's name be glorified. It is all because of him. ALL of it.
Well tomorrow still brings an important day for me. Thank you to all of you who prayed about the Last Chance Meet. The coach okayed it and we're heading to Wisconsin tomorrow. This is my absolute final chance to qualify for Indoor Nationals. I'm really excited about getting another opportunity to vault and have left the results in the Lord's hands. He knows what tomorrow brings. He is the one who will bring tomorrow. I just have to trust in him. I want to have fun and vault like I know how. I'm not going to allow negative thoughts to enter my mind. I have to keep telling myself that. I need to vault with confidence and no matter what the results I will choose joy. No matter what happens tomorrow the Lord's name will be blessed. It is for him and his glory that I do this. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. May his name be lifted higher and higher. Please pray for me tomorrow! Pray for safe travels (we'll be driving back late at night) and good performances for everyone going! There are 7 of us competing and one coach going. Thankfully, it's my coach. Mike is awesome. Please pray for my heart. That I would long for Jesus more than qualifying. The results are in his hands. Thank you Jesus!
I definitely wanted to make it to Nationals, but I just didn't see it as a reality. There was part of me that was looking forward to finally being down to one sport. Diving season is so long and got lengthened by qualifying, and then the potentiality of it being even longer because of making it to Nationals. I was ready for things to slow down. But as I was praying about it, I really prayed that the Lord's will would be done. Whatever he wanted to have happen, I would be okay with it. I was perfectly content on not making it. In fact, I was expecting it.
But...God had different plans. As of today, I am going to Nationals for diving! AHH! It is so crazy. So many things sprinting through my head. I was shocked. Completely shocked. I wasn't expecting it at all. I felt like everything was against me with only doing one meter. I didn't think I really had a chance. But...God works miracles! I can't even explain how much this screams out God's Glory! It is only because of him that I made it and he gets all the glory and praise. I can say with confidence that I know it is the Lord's will that I made it to Nationals. It is because of him. 100%. And I have to trust in his will. This is where I am supposed to be.
I am really excited and just feel like this is a really big honor. Something I wouldn't have EVER dreamed up in a million years. Honestly, I'm feeling quite inadequate, but I know that's not of the Lord, so have to trust in him. Just thinking back on my diving journey, especially since high school, it is insane. I have learned so much and come so far. And honestly not because of anything that has to do with me. The Lord has revealed so much to me and he gets all the glory. I've also had awesome coaches and teammates. I can honestly say that if it wasn't for Aaron, I may have quit diving my freshman year. I tried, but he didn't let me. And I seriously owe SO much to Erica. If it wasn't for her, I for sure wouldn't still be diving. She was such an encouragement to me my sophomore and junior year. All of my teammates have had a tremendous impact on me as a diver. Each one over the course of the last four years. I've needed all of them.
At practice today, standing in our brand new state of the art Olympic sized pool, Casey and I were reminiscing about the good ol' freshman days. We had a tiny pool dungeon and 10 divers. I couldn't do half of the dives I do now and I hated three meter. Well, I do still hate three meter, but the fact that I don't do it anymore, doesn't make me hate diving. Man, it has been such a journey. But I would say that qualifying for Nationals my Senior year couldn't be a better ending. My goal is go to Nationals and HAVE FUN! I want to take in the whole experience and just enjoy it. I don't care how I do. If I'm last, I'm totally okay with that. I'll take being the 22nd best girl diver in the Nation at a division three school. That is fine by me. 22 is a great number anyway :) My parent's favorite. So, the season isn't over and my diving career isn't over, but it is headed in a great direction. I couldn't ask for more. May the Lord's name be glorified. It is all because of him. ALL of it.
Well tomorrow still brings an important day for me. Thank you to all of you who prayed about the Last Chance Meet. The coach okayed it and we're heading to Wisconsin tomorrow. This is my absolute final chance to qualify for Indoor Nationals. I'm really excited about getting another opportunity to vault and have left the results in the Lord's hands. He knows what tomorrow brings. He is the one who will bring tomorrow. I just have to trust in him. I want to have fun and vault like I know how. I'm not going to allow negative thoughts to enter my mind. I have to keep telling myself that. I need to vault with confidence and no matter what the results I will choose joy. No matter what happens tomorrow the Lord's name will be blessed. It is for him and his glory that I do this. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. May his name be lifted higher and higher. Please pray for me tomorrow! Pray for safe travels (we'll be driving back late at night) and good performances for everyone going! There are 7 of us competing and one coach going. Thankfully, it's my coach. Mike is awesome. Please pray for my heart. That I would long for Jesus more than qualifying. The results are in his hands. Thank you Jesus!
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