Safe and Sound

The rest of the team arrived today! Yay! Two guys had to take a taxi from Ft. Lauderdale to Miami to catch a different flight, but everyone eventually got here and our team is now complete. Thank you Jesus!

It has been rainy and cloudy since I got here, but apparently you can burn really really fast in clouds here. I know that you can get sun through clouds, but I didn't realize how fast when you're closer to the equator. I laid out for about 2 hours this afternoon. It was really cloudy and rained part of the time I was out. I burned to a crisp! I haven't had sun burn this bad in a really long time. Guess I'm just gonna have to cover up tomorrow!

I'm off to hopefully sleep. There is loud music playing outside and screaming kids in the room next to us and I have a roommate who says she snores really loud and talks in her sleep. We'll see how this goes. Luckly, I brought earplugs :)

Hope you have a great New Year's!

Update

Well the team ended up not flying in last night like we thought. Apparently this whole volcanic ash thing is easier to handle during the day. There is ash in the air a lot of the time, but during the day the planes can see it. When you fly at night, they can't see the ash so they haven't been sending the planes out. However, the team did get a flight for this morning, and as far as I know are on the plane right now. So they should be here shortly and our team will be reunited!

Training Trip Madness

I have so much to catch up on. Whats new. Christmas break has been awesome. Time with the family, including cousins and my nephew have been tons of fun. I've been in New Jersey (multiple times), New York City, Lake Champion, Richmond, Charlottesville, the Outer Banks and finally Puerto Rico! I'll catch up on everything later, but wanted to write about all thats been going on here in Puerto Rico.

My flights for the most part went alright. On my second flight we sat on the plane at the gate for two hours before we left, which seemed like forever, but we got here safely and everything worked out. I flew on my own, but the rest of the team flew in two groups. There were ten people that flew out of Chicago really early yesterday morning and the rest of the team practiced in Grand Rapids and flew out of Chicago later in the day. The people already in Puerto Rico were supposed to practice at the pool here and then go pick up the rest of the team last night.

I got in later than I was supposed to and Aaron and Casey picked me up from the airport a little after six. There was a whole huge catastrophe that I wasn't apart of the hour before they got me. We are supposed to have a bunch of rental vans here to take to and from the pool. I don't know what happened, but all we had was the car for the divers which seats seven. They piled eleven in and drove around for an hour to try and find the pool. The roads here are absolutely insane. The exits are all crazy where you have to drive past something and then take the exit towards where you want to go, but then turn away from it to turn around towards it...I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. So Casey and Aaron picked me up and we went to go find the pool we are diving at since it is different from the pool the swimmers are at. It took about 45 minutes doing lots of loops and turns, but we finally made it there.

On the ride to the pool Casey and Aaron informed me of all the craziness that had been going on. Casey told me the rest of the team wouldn't be coming that night. Something about a volcano erupting and there being too much ash in the air, making it dangerous to land a plane. I don't know, Kelly and I both flew in on our own and didn't have any problems, but the airline wouldn't send them out. Dan said that they were gonna try to get a flight out for this morning, but if the team couldn't get here by Friday, they wouldn't come at all. So crazy.

So there are twelve of us here in Puerto Rico and the other 50 of our team isn't here. They not only couldn't get to Puerto Rico, but were stuck in Atlanta, Georgia. The plan kept changing, but what eventually happened is the team split up in three groups and flew to Orlando late last night. This is our training trip, which is always really intense, so Dan wanted to get in all the training they could. They flew to Orlando, where we usually stay for one night when we have our training trip in Florida, practiced this morning, are practicing again later today and then are taking a really late flight into Puerto Rico tonight. They're supposed to get here around 2am. CRAZY.

I am so thankful everything with my flights worked out and I'm not stranded in an airport by myself. Casey and I are the only divers here, but we lucked out and have our coach, which is great. We dove for about 20 minutes yesterday since we were so late with everything and then went to pick up the swimmers. We were going to take two trips because we now had an added person (me) and my luggage. We decided to try and make it work, so fit twelve people plus a suitcase into a 7 passenger car and went to grab some dinner. Dinner took forever, but we got back to the hotel, crashed and did some dryland practice this morning. We're not sure what time we are able to get on the boards to dive this week cause what we were told is not the same as what the people at the pool said. We're hoping to work that out today.

Anyway, I am alive and doing well! It's been a crazy couple of days and seems like we're just going to have to keep rolling with the punches and being flexible. Please pray everything works out for our team and that they get here safely. Also pray that we don't have 12-2 as our pool practice time like they think we do cause that would mean we wouldn't be able to do things as a whole team during the day. God is in control and I just have to keep trusting in him.

Happy Birthday Nick!

I guess you could say that Nick was an unexpected friend, someone who just shows up in your life out of no where, and doesn't leave. I'm not really even sure how we became friends, but looking back after four and half years its been quite a journey. I've learned so much from him and through our friendship. Some times were great and awesome while others I could have gone without, but he is the one friend who has been there through all of it with me. He knows me better than probably anyone and could tell you exactly how I would react given a particular situation (most likely because he would react in the same way). We are so similar, yet polar opposites. There are often times where we will ask each other, "how the heck are we friends?" My only answer to that question, is the Lord. God has called us to be friends, and I'm fine with that. My relationship with the Lord has grown and been challenged through my friendship with Nick. From high school to me going off to college to my family moving to Nick going to college, God has had a strategic hand in all of it. I think it would be safe to say that neither of us thought we would be friends once I graduated high school, but man were we wrong. Nick is now the only person I talk to from Charlottesville. Crazy how our lives can change in the matter of moments.

Nick is that friend that I can always count on. He's been through the thick and thin of everything with me and I know he always has a shoulder to lean on. He has a contagious enthusiasm about him that is so fun to be around. Once you get him on the topic of rugby, football or hip hop, he'll talk about it so passionately that for a second you'll think you love it too. He's a great guy and awesome friend to have.

I hope you have a super fantastic birthday Nick!

I'm Back!

Well...contrary to popular belief...I AM still alive. The last six or seven weeks almost killed me, but by the grace of God, I made it through. I had a pretty busy semester to start with, but in the matter of one week, it turned to absolute chaos. I picked up a class that started half way through the semester, dryland changed from two mornings a week to three mornings a week, and track started. It was insane. Since first semester my sophomore year at Calvin each semester has gotten harder and at the end of it I always say, "well at least it can't get harder than that." Then the next semester roles around and I'm sorely mistaken. After past semester, I literally wouldn't ever be able to handle more, I wasn't even able to handle it this time around. There were many days that I struggled with which responsibility needed to give, and what I could get away with not doing. Quite a few days of not doing homework, which always stresses me out, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. There just wasn't enough time.

I was hoping to catch up on my blog over Thanksgiving, but I ended up doing homework all break to catch up and it just didn't happen. But...as of Monday at 5:00pm, I am officially done with my last semester of classes!!! WHOO HOO!

I still have two semesters of student teaching, but hopefully that will be homework that I enjoy and not quite as hectic. But, I guess we'll have to see.

There is much much more updating as many many things have changed in my life in the last month or so, but I will write again later...

Struggle City

It's been a while. This week was beyond anything I could handle. And it was supposed to be a relaxing one. It was busy and hectic and too many things to do. Lots going on and not much time to write, nor do I really feel like it right now. Just wanted to update since its been so long. Maybe I'll be back later tonight. The best description I have is "Struggle City."

Hard. Easy. Easy. Hard.

His ways are higher than my ways. His ways are higher than my ways. His ways are higher than my ways. I am having to continually repeat this to myself right now. I just got overwhelmed with the feeling of being tired of trusting God. I feel like so often I am left without answers and without an understanding. I just sometimes wish I knew why. Why does he take away things we love, or not give us things we desire? I know he has a better plan. I know he has a better way. But my flesh wants to understand. I know that's not my job. It's not my job to understand. Sometimes I just want to though.

Arg. Why is trusting God so hard sometimes? Uh! Listen to me. When it's easy, I want it to be hard. When it's hard, I want it to be easy. How foolish! I need to enjoy where God has me. I need to embrace it. I need to embrace the utter dependence. God help me. I need you.

Number One

It's Thursday. Well, I guess now it is technically Friday. Thursdays are my really long days. It is now 12:34am and I have been up since 4:56am and I don't want to go to sleep. I had an awesome day. The Lord's grace goes way beyond sufficient. I can't even begin to explain. I am on fire right now. I want to sing and dance and praise God with all that I am! He astounds me.

I knew today was going to be a good day. I had just finished a dream and was rolling over when my alarm went off this morning. I didn't hit the snooze button and I got out of bed. That is only because of his grace! I've been struggling to get up in the morning and the Lord just woke me up, got me to my feet and sent me into his Word. Days that we have dryland early in the morning it's harder for me to spend a significant amount of time in the Word. The Lord got me up this morning and I started my day well. Giving him the details and control of each moment.

I literally just went through today drenched in his grace. His hand was upon me and he carried me the whole way. I don't even know how to explain it. I coasted through only by this wind of grace that was pushing me. Classes went well, I got to take about an hour nap which was an amazing nap, and then I had more class. It all went really well.

So then after my day was about done at 9:00pm I headed out to see what this whole barn thing was all about. I don't know if you remember, but some guys that I met on the retreat told me about doing worship and bible study in this barn on Thursday nights. It made for a really long Thursday, but I don't have class tomorrow, so it actually worked out well. It was awesome.

I loved it. The Lord was in that place and people were just being real. Uh! I love being real. All the fake crap I see so often gets so frustrating. It was so refreshing. These three brothers that I met on the retreat, that told me about it and are the ones who started it, are awesome. I don't really know them very well, but there is seriously something different about them and I want it. Their passion and love for the Lord is contagious. They have something that I want. What an awesome quality. I pray that I am the kind of person that people see Christ in me and say that I have something they want. It was an awesome night.

There were about 15 of us and we shared testimonies and got to know each other and looked at 2 Peter a little bit. It was the Lord. He was in that place. I could go on for a while, but there is just one thing that I want to share as a take-away. It answered a huge question for me from a post a couple weeks ago.

So Jon tells us this story he heard from someone. The starter question is, how would you react, if I told you that God didn't want to be your number one? That he just didn't want it, he didn't want you to set him in "priority number one."

Our responses were that, that was crazy and a lie and just not true. Well...here's a little analogy for you.

So there's this business man. He lives in the U.S. and has a wife he loves. Because of his job he travels all the time. He's constantly gone and constantly in other countries and traveling from place to place. Over the course of some time, he ends up having four additional wives. He goes on living multiple lives for a while and then decides he should tell his wife. So he finally works up the courage to tell his wife that he has four other wives, but don't worry, he assured her that she was his "number one wife."

I like the analogy. God doesn't want to just be number one. He wants to be one, two, three, four, five...etc. If he's number one and something else is number two, he's not a part of number two. God wants to be more than our number one. He wants to be our lives. This put things into perspective for me and assured me that its maybe even a good thing I don't have my priorities listed. As long as God is all of them, I'm set.

I had a great night. The Lord filled me with his Spirit and I just feel alive and refreshed. It's now after one in the morning and I haven't been up this late in who knows how long. Hopefully I won't be sorry tomorrow. His grace is sufficient.

BEING

This weekend was awesome. We had the Crossroads College Age Retreat from Friday to Saturday and it was fantastic. The Lord showed up and met us where we were. The theme was Being. Being with God, Being with others, and Being Christ to others. We had three different sessions and someone different spoke about each topic. It was awesome, and challenging, and so good.

There was an extremely small turnout from Calvin and I didn't really have any close friends there. It was such a great opportunity to meet so many new people! We played games and talked and had some ice-breakers, and I'm really excited about some of the people I was able to meet. There was such passion in everyone that was there and it was so contagious.

The first talk was Being with God. Will shared from the word and through experience about prayer. It was definitely challenging, but something I needed to hear. I love prayer and the power of prayer. I've learned a lot about it over the past year or so. I know the power it has and I love it, yet I don't dedicate enough time to it. I'm good about my devotions, but I don't go get away for an extended period of time and only pray. We looked at Matthew 6:1,5-15. Will talked about literally going into the closet and praying. I started to brainstorm, where my closet could be. I don't really have a literal closet to use, especially since I share a room. I want somewhere that I can't be interrupted. And what I came up with is the dark and scary basement of our apartment. My plan is to clean it up, decorate, and have a place to get away and pray. It was an encouraging message that challenged me. It challenged me in an exciting way. I want my prayer life to become stronger and my relationship with the Lord to grow. A phrase that he shared with us, I really liked was "Prayer is really simple. But it's not easy." He talked about getting up in the morning and not wanting to pray. Our flesh takes over and we just don't want to do it. In those times, if we pray, "God I want to want you more than I do right now" He will show up and change our hearts. The Lord promises that when we seek him, or when we draw near to him, he will draw near to us. We have to do our part, and he promises to do his.

That night we hung out and played some games. We played telephone charades, which ended up being hilarious. I also ended up making a complete fool out of myself. We were given a scenario and we had to act it out, while someone who didn't know the scenario would watch. They would then act it out for the next person who didn't know what was going on, and so on. So I went first and my scenario was that I was a monkey in the jungle. I was swinging from vine to vine collecting bananas. Then I stopped and ate some of my bananas. (Then some college boys chimed in on the scenario) I then had to fight off a lion who tried to steal my bananas. I won and had to wear his head as a crown. Yeah. Try acting that out. It was ridiculous. I made a complete fool out of myself and looked like an idiot. But who cares? right? It was really fun, we all laughed and had a great time.

The next morning Derrick talked about being with others. We looked at 2 Timothy 2:1-7, which I wouldn't typically pick out as a "fellowship" group of verses, but he did a really great job. There were a couple take-aways for me. The first is that Paul tells us to rejoice! Twice. And coming from Paul, and his situation, we can rejoice in all of life's trials and circumstances. And we can rejoice because God's grace is sufficient. Derrick also talked about how we all need to have a Paul in our life (a mentor) and a Timothy in our life (a mentee). This is something that I have been praying about for a while and am continuing to pray about. Another thing that stuck out to me was a question he asked. We were talking about suffering. That we will suffer and we need to suffer well. This whole health, wealth and prosperity gospel that is going around is a bunch of crap. We will suffer. But he asked a question that I liked. He asked, "are you a threat to Satan?" If the answer is no, they we're not going after God like we should. If the answer is yes, you will have suffering in your life. There was a lot more that I liked too, but this is already getting long, so I'm going to move on to the third session.

DanMike talked about Being Christ to Others. We looked at Philippians 4:4-9. The two big questions he asked were, How big is God to me? And How does my life prove it? One thing he hit really hard was control. Too much control and we get anxious because we need every detail planned out. Too little control and we get anxious because we have no idea where we're headed. We have to give God the control. See a theme in my life? :) Present our requests to him, and he will give us peace. Twice in these verses God promises his peace which passes all understanding. We also looked at verse 8 and thought about what a world would look like if we did this. It says, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." What would our world look like, or what would we look like if we only thought about things that were true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy? We would be much more encouraging, and much more approachable.

The worship sessions were great and the whole weekend was a blast. We built relationships with each other and strengthened our relationships with the Lord. It was awesome and all because of the Lord.

As we were leaving I started talking to a couple guys who go to Calvin. I really wanted to connect with some Calvin people cause I really want to see the Calvin/Crossroads community do something real on campus. I ended up talking to these brothers who just seemed like awesome people. Definitely on fire for the Lord and had the same mindset as me as far as Calvin and Crossroads. They told me about this thing that people have been doing on Thursday nights. A bunch of people from Calvin and Cornerstone (another nearby Christian college) have been getting together in a barn for worship and bible study. It sounded awesome. Just people getting together and getting in the Word. So hopefully I'll be able to check it out at some point. It sounds amazing. I just am still praying about my commitments, time and schedule. I have to learn to say no to things, even if they are good things, if God doesn't want me there.

I then ended the weekend with Michelle spending the night, church, coaching, and community group. Spending time with Michelle was absolutely amazing. I love that girl to death and am so thankful for our friendship. We had a sweet time together. It was a great weekend.

Without Fail

The Holy Spirit is real and alive and amazing. The past couple weeks in my morning devotions I've been starting by writing in my prayer journal. I'll write and get out what is on my heart. Sometimes the theme or topic shifts as I'm writing, but I just go with it. It's the Holy Spirit. And then I open up my devotional that I love. It is short paragraphs written from the perspective of God that are based on scripture. The past couple weeks, everytime I open to the day's devotional, it has to do with exactly what I was praying about. Everyday. Without fail. Random topics, reoccuring topics, mindsets, changes of heart, all of it. Exactly what I was praying. Exactly what I need to hear.

This just blows me away. It shouldn't, but it does. I love it! The Holy Spirit is at work and the Lord knows what he wants me thinking about that day, or what things I need to be giving up. His ways are so much higher than my ways. I then get to look up the scripture references and meditate on them as well. It's been good. I've been learning a lot and have to constantly turn everything over to the Lord. Whatever his will is, let it be done in my life.

Victory

Well, week one is over. Diving started this week and I made it through. I am still alive and in quite good spirits. It was hard and a long week for sure, but I survived. It was definitely fun to get back into things and get back on the boards. We have five new freshman, so I'm starting to build relationships with them as well. It's been fun so far.

I also started aiding on Wednesday and I love my placement! I've only been once, but I know I'm going to learn a ton and really enjoy it. My teacher is great. She really genuinely cares for her students and goes above and beyond. I am in a Kindergarten and First grade Mildly Cognitively Impaired classroom at an urban elementary school. The kids are absolutely adorable and I love them already.

My Thursday was killer. I was on campus from 5:50am to 9:00pm. Longest day ever. We had dryland from 6-7:30am, then I had class all day, then stuck around for a little practice (I just worked on the trampoline since I couldn't make our practice time) then had a little break and then had night class. My breaks weren't long enough to go home, so I just tried to get some work done and caught up with some friends. It was so long though and I was exhausted.

The Lord has been so faithful though. Through all of this. He never leaves my side. Really. Just think about that. He is always there! He is always with me. Amazing! It was definitely a week where I had to keep relying on him, keep trusting him and holding my hands open. I'm taking it one day at a time. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

I also had a fantastic conversation with one of my professors about my placement for student teaching next semester. I'm going to be doing track and the schedules conflict quite a bit. I don't get Calvin's spring break, I get the school that I'm at's spring break, which gets interesting because we do a Track Training Trip over spring break. So we talked a lot of things out about trying to make it work so that I can go. He was so understanding and is really willing to work with me. It was totally the Lord. Nothing is completely set, but we started the conversation and it went better than I could have imagined.

After that conversation I was just thinking about how many people have had to be flexible and understanding with my schedule. It just points me straight to God because there is no way in the world all these people would be so willing to work with me, if it wasn't for Him. His hand is in all these situations and he is paving the road for me. I just stand in awe. He is amazing. He's challenging me and I'm learning a lot. Definitely a situation I love to be in. It's hard while your going through it, but it is so fruitful in the end.

This Way and That

Time management is something that I would consider myself pretty good at. I have learned how to juggle a lot. I feel like God has called me to many different things and the recurring theme is that if he wants me to do them all, he has to do it. I have learned how to say no to things, even good things, and sometimes that is really hard for me. Right now I feel like I am in a place where I have said yes to too much, but at the same time feel called to all the things that I am doing. I am continually praying for direction and want my eyes to be open to the things that are my desire but not God's desire. I currently feel like there is too much. Too much for a 24 hour day. But then I come to my senses and just surrender it to the Lord. If it is his will that I do all that I am doing, it will all work out. I don't have to have it planned out, I don't have to know what every day brings. All he requires of me is that I trust him. And I do.

I know that I just blogged about all of this, but it seemed to come full circle again last night. I went over to my guy friend's house and hung out. I had a really great conversation with two of my friends. Two guys who I truly love and are dear dear friends of mine. We were just being really honest with each other. I loved it. But it was definitely hard. They approached me about my priorities, something that gets hinted at often, and I knew was coming. It was really hard to hear. Like harder than I would have imagined.

I just get so frustrated and feel so torn. One of them straight out said that I put school before relationships and sports before relationships. I don't spend enough time with them. It's true. I didn't even try to argue. I know that I do, and I honestly don't know what to do about it.

Relationships are really important to me. They are. I love building relationships with people and talking and sharing life. When I am at school I get pulled and tugged in so many different directions I don't even know where to begin.

God is my number one priority. I know that. My relationship with him is more important than any relationship I have ever had or will ever have. Without God I can literally do nothing.

And after number one, honestly, I get really confused. I know that I am called to be here at Calvin College and in the Special Education program. I know that and I am confident in it. It requires a lot. The number of hours put into it are more than the credit hours. One of my classes is a four credit class that requires 11 hours a week, and that's not including homework, reading and assignments. It's a lot.

I also know that I am called to be an athlete here at Calvin, and right now (it very well could change) I feel strongly that God has called me to do two sports, well really three if you count indoor and outdoor. It's new, and different, and I don't know if it's been done before, but if it is what the Lord is calling me to, I'm going to do it. And I'm going to do it with excellence. And honestly, I feel like excellence is where I get in trouble.

Young Life has done a great job of teaching me about striving for excellence. You work really really hard and do a lot of work to make something just a little bit better (even if it's something no one will notice). I want to give things 110%. I feel like I don't know how to do differently. It drives me crazy to know that I didn't do something to the best of my ability. I feel like I cheat God and myself.

So in being called to be a student and an athlete and to be them with excellence, it requires that I get a lot of sleep. I know, this probably sounds stupid that sleep would be such a priority in my life, but in order to do the things God has called me to with excellence, I need sleep. I need a lot of sleep. In my family, if you don't sleep, you get sick. Plain and simple. When I'm tired, I don't practice well, I can't pay attention in class and I am a horrible person to be around. I get grumpy and cranky and it's just not a pretty sight. It is also the absolute worst feeling in the world to me. I hate the feeling of not being able to keep my eyes open and not having the capacity to think clearly. I would rather be sick than exhausted, and getting sick because of exhaustion is definitely the worst.

This is getting long. I'm sorry. I say all of this to say that I'm torn. Because I spend so much time on school and sports I have so little time for other things (yet somehow I have so many other things right now). And because of this, it is my relationships that suffer. It was so hard to hear such a good friend tell me he saw me as a friend, but not that good of a friend because I'm never around. I don't want to leave college without any relationships that are going to last.

Even within the realm of relationships, I get torn a lot. With so little time, which relationships do I choose to put time into? My friends from my floor? or the divers? or the swim team as a whole? or the track team? or the people I live with? What about the other college students from Crossroads? Or my friend from home? Or even my family? Then there are people from camp who I love so much. There are so many good and important relationships that require so much of my time. I feel strongly about all of them too. I want to continue the relationships with the divers who I already know, I would love to help mentor a freshman diver who is juggling so many changes. I love my friends from my floor. I am so glad I was able to build relationships outside of my teams. Yet the relationships on a team are so important. Those are the people that support me through the highs and lows of practice and performance; even just life. There is another part of me that wants to pour myself into the college group at Crossroads. There is something different about doing life with people who hear the same messages as you every Sunday and are being challenged in the same areas. I also live in a very intentional community. We are required to have small group once a week. These are all people who share a passion for sports and I want to dive into these relationships as well. I've already really enjoyed getting to know my roommate better. It is totally the Lord that we are living together. And then there is home. I don't even get the chance to talk to my family once a week. I would love to catch up with them everyday, or call my brother and see how the transition to college has been (something special I feel like we share). Or even my sister. Being 5 or 6 hours off makes it really hard to find time to catch up. I literally have to plan it into my day. And then there is Nick. That's a friendship I've put way too much time into to ever just throw away. Or even Michelle. Such a dear friend and someone I can be completely honest with. And I can't forget about camp. Amy, Brittany, all the interns from this year. Even Zach, Chick and Pierre. It is such brief moments of catching up and I wish I could invest so much more. I could keep going. Really. As much as I would absolutely love for all of my time to be dedicated to these relationships, it's just not reality. It's a struggle.

This is not by any means the first time I have dealt with this. I struggle with this often. Very often. I struggled with it a lot this summer. I would work all day, and seriously need sleep in order to do my job well the next day. But night time is when everything happens. I'm not the typical college student. I can't function off of 5 hours of sleep. Not even close.

Last night just made me really try to reconsider things. But at the same time, I don't want to be seeking the approval of others. Such a hard concept sometimes. Someone who's opinion I definitely care about brings something to me, but I feel God calling me somewhere else. Or is it just that I think I'm supposed to be somewhere else and he is using this person to point something out to me? I just get so confused.

Church today was great though. Community group too. I just had to literally surrender every single aspect to the Lord. I just long for his will to be done. It's so hard for me to not know what that is. I feel pulled in every direction. As I was driving home from community group today I was thinking and praying about all of this. It simply comes down to this. God is my top priority. I know that. And because he is my top priority, that means he gets to figure it all out for me, right? I don't know if that's bad logic or theology, but at this point, I'm just sitting still, in his presence, with my hands open. I don't know what else to do, so I will do all I know how to do.

I will wait upon the Lord. Strength will rise as I wait upon the Lord.

Trust

Why is it so hard to trust God sometimes? Like I know a better way. How rediculous. I think that I can do a better job planning out my life than God can. Oh, how narrow-minded I can be.

I was just sitting here in my living room trying to plan out the next year and a half of my life. Down to the day. Literally. How obsured is that? I want to know exactly what I'm going to do at exactly what time and what day. I have so many thoughts running wild in my head. Diving, pole vaulting, doing two sports, coaching, work, making money for training trip, aiding, student teaching, my placement, small group, alliance dinners, community group, how long it will take to get ready to teach after dryland mornings, diving nationals, indoor nationals, outdoor nationals, puerto rico, spring break, starting student teaching early, ending student teaching late, interning again at Champion, interning again in general, Chicago semester, traveling Europe with my sister, Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, I could keep going. And going, and going. So many thoughts thrown at me all in one instant.

So overwhelming.

And then I stop. And sit.

And am so thankful I don't have to figure it out on my own.

I don't have to have it all worked out right now (as much as I would like to).

I serve a King that is so mighty and so powerful and WILL take care of my every need. How amazing is that?! pretty stinkin' amazing.

I just look at this, all that the Lord has called me to, and say, "God, but how? you only made the day last 24 hours, how do you require so much of me?"

And he looks down at me and says, "You don't have to it. You have to let ME do it. The only way to keep going is to keep your eyes on me."

And oh, that is the desire of my heart. People tell me I'm crazy ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes when I step back and look at it, I think I'm crazy too. But then I remind myself that it's not about me, I'm not doing the work, and this is what God has called me to do. And I can rest in that.

It's an amazing experience to feel the Lord's peace and true rest in the midst of absolute chaos. He is my shalom and I will rest in Him.

Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God"

MAJOR catch-up

Wow do I have a lot of catching up to do. The past couple weeks have been packed with excitement, fellowship, lessons, good-byes and reunions. It has been quite a time of transition and I am feeling settled in as I embark on my senior year of college! How crazy is that?! It has absolutely flown by and I have absolutely loved it!

I have been overwhelmed to try and sit down and re-cap the last few weeks, so I am going to do it briefly.

LEACH FAMILY FUN WEEK

Leach family fun week was really fun. Janelle and I both got back on Monday and on Tuesday we were already headed to Busch Gardens for the day. It was so good to go do something all as a family, and I love roller coasters. The lines were ridiculously short so we got to do a ton! We barely waited in line and literally just walked onto one of the coasters.

 

 

We rode in the front for this one and it was awesome!

 

Love this little guy!

 

Escape from Pompei!

 

Such a proud aunt!

Wednesday we just hung out as a family and Thursday we moved Justin into college! It was so fun to be apart of freshman move-in and I am so excited for him!

 

The whole family!

 

 

My baby brother is all grown up!

Friday and Saturday my grandparents joined us and it was great to see them. We just hung out, went to the pool and ate A LOT of Bryers ice cream.

Sunday, my parents, Katie, Jack, Janelle and I all went to New Jersey! The suposidly 6 hour trip took 9.5 on the way there. Jack did absolutely amazing and is seriously the best kid ever. I hope mine are as easy as he is!

 

Mimi showing Jack how to sleep in the car (she's an expert!) :)

 

Jack decided he wanted to take the car for a spin

 

Cousins!

Monday all of us, including my cousins, aunt and grandma went to the Central Park Zoo in New York city. It was really fun. We saw some great animals, but it was also just fun to walk around the city and Central Park.

 

The whole gang!

 

 

My cute little Nan! She is so precious!

Tuesday we went home and the 6 hour trip took 8 hours. Still, not as bad, but still long. There was a change of plans because we didn't want to hit Labor Day weekend traffic driving to MI and on Wednesday, Katie, Jack, my mom and I drove to Richmond. Katie and Jack needed a ride back and my mom and I were able to get an hour and a half under our belts for our 14 hour drive.

Thursday morning my mom and I left Richmond at about 4:45am. I was seriously dreading the drive and just wanted to get there. We stopped once to fill up on gas and go to the bathroom, but other than that we drove straight through. We took the Suburban, so having a 40 gallon tank was great for not wanting to stop. We made it in 11 hours and 23 minutes. I was SO glad to get here!

BACK AT CALVIN

A couple days before we left my parents so graciously asked if having a car at school would be helpful. We discussed the costs of things and I decided it was worth it. So I now have a car at school! What an incredible blessing! So my mom drove down with me and then flew back on Monday. It was so so so good to have her here! She was so helpful and constantly looking for something to do and ways to bless me. We were able to get all of my things together and settled in. We did a lot of shopping, going out to eat and just hanging out. It was so much fun and so amazing! We went yard saling on Saturday and got some great deals and all the things we were looking for. Yard saling in Michigan is so different and so much better than any other place we've gone. I love it.

Monday I took my mom to the airport and then went with a bunch of friends to Lake Michigan. (They call it the beach here, but it's really the lake.) It was so good to see everyone and catch up. I definitely missed everyone this summer. We got back from the lake and went to a bbq at someone's house and then watched a movie. It is so good to be back.

The first week of classes was great. Teacher aiding and diving both haven't started yet, so that has been really nice. I didn't have class on Monday, Wednesday or Friday last week, and I don't again this week. It's been so nice to have that extra time to get things done and catch up with people. They both start on the 21st, so that week may be utter chaos, but what's new?

I'm excited for where things are headed and am so thankful and grateful when at I look back at where I have been. This summer was absolutely amazing and more than I could have asked for. I miss Champion so much and have had many dreams that I am back there and with those people again. But it is also so great to look at where God has me right now. The transition has been smooth (thanks to my mom!) and I am excited for what this year brings. I have to constantly remind myself to walk each day with open hands. It's not about what I think will happen, what I want to happen or what my plan is. It is all in his hands and by the grace of God.

I am going to continue my blog, even though I'm not at camp anymore, and hopefully it will be shorter posts more often. :)

Final Week

The last week at camp was a lot of fun. We had a lot of lasts and a lot of treasured memories. We were three interns down and I missed them all dearly. It was a sad and reflective week, but we also had a complete blast because we wanted to make the most of it. Many mixed emotions.

My last night was a ton of fun! We went hot tubing in the pouring down rain, which was awesome!
We then went back to Hawk's Nest (where the interns live) and built a HUGE fort in our lobby and all slept in it cause it was a bunch of people's last night.
We watched a movie, and then at three in the morning we made our way over to the camp office where we decided to leave a little gift for our fantastic bosses. :)
The Guest Service office got about 1,000 plastic spoons put in it. In coat pockets, desk drawers, file cabinets, windowsills, anywhere and everywhere! Even on their porch outside. It was tons of fun and hopefully they will be finding spoons for years to come. That way, they won't forget us :)
Then we decided to "post-it" Chad's office. Chad is the head of Lake Champion and we covered his whole office in 5,200 post-its. It looked awesome!

It was a ton of fun and a great way to end the summer!

The next day we had the whole camp with absolutely no campers, assignment staff, summer staff, or work crew. It was awesome! Back to how things were at the very beginning of the summer. We took the boats out and played. I took Melissa for her first boat ride at Champion, we went tubing and wakeboarding, fished, went on the zip line and just hung out. It was awesome!

We then went out to dinner at Olive Garden and stopped to take pictures on Hawks Nest road on the way. I've wanted to take pictures there all summer. It is gorgeous! Yes, that is a VERY large drop behind us. I was a little nervous. That is also the Delaware River behind us, which we canoed down at the very beginning of the summer!



Love them and miss them so much!

Intern Banquet!

Well, I really wasn't good at keeping up with my blog this summer, but hopefully with school I'll be better. I can't guarantee it, but I'll try.

A week before camp ended we had an intern banquet to close out the summer. It was SO much fun! We all got dressed up and had a really nice dinner. We did worship, wrote each other notes and watched our intern slide show from the summer. It was a great start to our closing of the summer.

I thoroughly missed Krissa because she had already left, but I survived. Our group didn't feel complete, but we still had a lot of fun.

It was an awesome time of reflection and seeing all that the Lord had done in my life and in our group. He is so faithful! During worship I was overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness that God brought me to camp for the summer. It was such an amazing opportunity and I learned and grew so much! (future blogs will go further) The banquet was so awesome though!

Me and Annie (my roommate!)

Me and Lisa. I miss her dearly!

All the girls (minus Krissa) at the lake

Me and Britt

CHOCK!

Way too much trouble for one picture...

Matt ShorTTTT

The whole gang! Krissa is in there in spirit!

Charlie

Kyle and Kathy! Two of my favorites ever!

Changing

Well, all the babies are gone as well as my dear mother. They left a while ago, I just haven't had the time to write. Young Lives always seems to be my favorite week, and I was sad to see them all go. It was a fantastic week. It was a great break on the waterfront, we got to sleep in a little more, and I loved loving on the babies and girls. It was so much fun. I got to hang out with Kia a little bit and have been praying for her. She has my email and phone number, so hopefully we'll stay in touch. It's kind of crazy that God has placed us in each other's lives. She really has a place in my heart.

Me and Kia!

Another really fun thing was that my mom was able to connect with one of the moms in the pod she was in. Douglas was her favorite and she prayed for that little boy and his mother like crazy. His mom didn't stand up for the say so, but she seemed to have a little more of an open heart by the time she left. She seemed to really like my mom, but hey, who can resist. (Mom, did you write her yet?!)

My mom didn't want me to take this picture, but isn't it priceless! This is her with Douglas and his mom.

It was so awesome to see and hang out with my mom! I had so much fun. I got to see her more than I was expecting. While I was working, she would visit at the waterfront, and while she was working, I would go hold babies. So much fun. I love that she got to see the inside of Young Life and see why I'm so addicted to it. I get to be a part of people's lives changing. It's amazing; and it's all because of Jesus.

Me and Douglas! He is so adorable!

Last week and this week we've had Urban Young Life and there was a bit of a transition in our schedule. We're back to the 5:45 mornings with canoe breakfast and wakeboarding and late nights with the pool and hot tub open. Last week was definitely a challenge, but it really made me rely on the Lord for strength. When I have sleep taken away from me, I'm not such a happy camper, but last week I really felt the Lord asking me, "Do you trust me? Do you really trust me enough to meet every need?" I really felt the Lord last week and he got me through, I don't really know how. But that's the Lord for ya. Beyond what we think we know.

Today is day 4 of my last week here. We have a great group of campers here, ones I've been waiting for all summer. There is a group from NY that I remember really well from last year, and they've been a blast to have around. So a great week to end on, but as it comes to an end there is so much to reflect on, and so many good byes. I leave in four days.

Krissa left about a week ago, a little unexpectedly, too soon, but it was where the Lord wanted her. She had a good friend, basically a brother cause he used to live with them, pass away a couple weeks ago. So she went home early to make it to the funeral and being from California, it wasn't worth it to come back. We miss her dearly. The good byes already started.

Me and Krissa! I miss her!

Four days ago Sam and Chocklett both left. Two of my favorite people. They are awesome and it was a blast hanging out with them this summer. It is just so crazy that it is all ending. It FLEW by. Faster than I thought it would. It's been such an amazing journey. I've learned a lot and I think I have a lot to take away from it all. Before Sam and Chocklett left we had our final intern banquet. It was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.

Me and Sam!

Me and Chocklett!

Baby Central

Camp has turned into baby central, and I love it! The past couple days have been really easy and relaxing. The pace of Young Lives is much much slower than normal Young Life. There are a ton less campers, and they all have kids, so things are done in a nonchalant way. And there are babies everywhere! It is awesome!

Tuesday we turned camp around in order to get ready for 100 babies on camp. There are strollers, pack n' plays, diapers, toys, high chairs, bottles and babies everywhere! It took a good chunk of the day to get everything set up and the campers got here yesterday.

My mom is a caretaker this week and when I have free time I get to go to her pod and hold babies. Best week ever.

My friend Kia, from last year, is here! Praise the Lord! It was so great to see her, and I really hope I get a chance to get to know her better this year. Please pray for her. Her daughter didn't come with her because she is too old and she is currently pregnant, so there are a lot of activities she can't do. Please pray that Jesus captures her heart.

Please pray for all the girls. When their lives are changed, their babies lives are immediately changed. We're dealing with generations. The Kingdom is going to be growing this week! Thank you Jesus. Please pray that the girls would be open to the Gospel and recognize their need for him. He is a worthy God.

Full of Family Fun!

The past couple days have been amazing! The Lord continues to bless me in so many ways and makes things work out better than I could have imagine.

Monday was my day off, so the plan was that Sunday night I would go to Uncle Ted's (mom's brother) lake house in New Jersey, hang out on Monday and my mom and I (who was dropped off by my dad) would drive here to camp. My mom is helping out with Young Lives this week as a babysitter. Young Lives is for high school girls who have kids, so they need babysitters for when the moms are in activities. So that was the plan.

Well, Saturday as we were closing we had both of our boats break. They have had trouble starting for a while, and it just came to the point that they wouldn't start anymore. So as Lisa and I are finishing up with the boats and everything we have to do to take them in to the shop, she tells me that I should just leave that night and take Sunday off. I told her it was fine and I didn't need to. That went on for a while. We now had two extra summer staffers because we weren't going to be able to drive tubes the next day and so she would be fine on help. Her and Bob are always telling me that I need to take a day off and that I work too much. I kept saying that it was fine and I didn't need to. I finally told Lisa that I would call my parents and see what they were doing and where they were. The original plan was that they were going to see my Aunt Judy (mom's sister) for a night before they went to the lake house, but as things go in the Leach family, plans always change. So I call my parents and they were on their way to my aunts. I ate dinner and left.

My Aunt's house is only about an hour and a half away, which is nothing here considering it takes 30 minutes to get to the smallest town ever and an hour to get to normal civilization. So I borrowed Lisa's car and Doug's GPS and headed to New Jersey. I got to see my Aunt, my two cousins, my second cousin and my dad, all of which I wasn't expecting to see! It was awesome.

We sat out back and just talked and had dessert and got to spend time with the fam. I loved it. We all stayed the night and then my aunt and cousins were leaving the next morning to go to the beach. So my mom and I packed up and headed to the lake house and my dad headed home to get back so he could go to work the next day.

Kim, Aunt Judy, Madison, Me and Nicole

Me and Madison!

We picked up my grandma and headed to the lake. I love my uncle's lake house! I love being there. My cousin has a lake house two houses away as well (the lake house my mom had growing up) and it is so much fun there! It was pouring down rain, so we were just inside talking and hanging out. I got to see my cousin Teddy who I love, and his three kids who are growing up so fast! I love spending time with family.

The rain stopped at one point and Teddy turned to me and asked if I wanted to go play on the Jet-Skis. A question like that does not need to be asked twice! My uncle has one, Teddy has one, and one of Teddy's friends had one stored at his house. We went out on the lake and it was so much fun!

I even convinced my mom to come! That was a miracle. I told her I would go slow. That didn't last too long. It was so much fun! We just drove around for a while, then Teddy, his friend and I took them out around the whole lake. It was awesome. Being on the water is literally one of my favorite things ever. It was so much fun. I enjoyed every minute of it.

My mom and me!

All of this excitement wouldn't have happened if I didn't get Sunday off. God is so good. Both boats broke on the same day, within 30 minutes of each other, because of something that had been getting better and worse all summer, and because of all of that, I got to spend some really amazing time with my family. I loved playing with my second cousins and hanging out with everyone, it was a fantastic weekend and a great time away from camp.

Then Monday, my mom and I left the lake around noon, which was earlier than I had originally planned because I was able to spend the day before hanging out. We left and stopped off at a little shopping village on the way that my Aunt Lynn had told us about. It was the cutest little shopping place ever and it was so much fun! There were really awesome deals and I got some great things for teaching. My mom and I just got to hang out all day and it was awesome.

And now my mom is here for a week! I am so excited that she gets to see the inside of Young Life and see how things run and what exactly goes on here. Young Lives is my favorite week and I am really looking forward to these amazing girls coming and the camp being filled with babies! There was a girl named Kia that I really connected with last year and I am hoping and praying that she comes again this year. Last year we had both talked about being here this year and I really really hope she comes and I get to see her.


I am trying to be better at all of this, sorry they get so long. I love details and I tell long stories. That's just what you get with me :)