Week 2

This week has been...interesting. Fun, energetic, challenging, frustrating, good, and hard all at the same time. We have whole new camp of campers and they are actually about to leave. Charlottesville area is here this week, so that has been fun. I got to see some of my leaders from high school and one of my good friends from high school came with his guys as a leader, so it has been fun to see them. There are a couple campers who just graduated that I know because they are in Justin's grade and it's been really fun throwing them off the tubes. Lots of old faces, which makes me feel old. I ran into Lilly Wardell yesterday. I don't know how we haven't seen each other all week, but we stopped and talked for a while. I can't believe she's going to be a junior! So crazy. And then yesterday I was tubing Andrew, who is a CHS leader, and another kid, who I didn't know. Then when the other kid feel off, as I was going around to pick him up, I realized it was Gabriel Hunter-Chang! I used to babysit him!

It's been a lot of fun. All the guys love to go crazy on the tubes and I love throwing them off. I gave rides to Charles' whole cabin yesterday and he was telling me how his guys kept talking about how the highlight of their days is when they go tubing with me and I give them a crazy ride. It was really encouraging to hear him say that and knowing that I am helping these kids have the best week of their lives. The familiar faces have been really fun, even though they make me feel really old.

The behind the scenes things have been hard. I'm learning a lot about leadership and how hard it is. I've never been in such a demanding leadership role. We have bible study once a week with all the interns and we've been talking about leadership, what our spiritual gifts are and the ways in which we lead. I've been learning things about myself that are obvious, and I knew, but I am realizing how different my brain is than other people's.

I lead in order to reach a goal. Yesterday in our bible study we took a little test to see how we lead and then we got in groups and talked about it. I was in the "lion" group. We are goal oriented and like to get things done. We talked about how we all loved making lists and crossing things off of them (even writing down things we've already done, just so we can cross it off). I am someone who is bold and will step forward and take initiative in situations. I am also detail oriented and analyze everything to make sure I am doing things in the most efficient way possible. I'm a thinker. I've know this, this is not some new revelation for me, but I'm learning how it plays into my role as a leader and am realizing that not all people are receptive to it.

I've been a little frustrated and feel like I'm not doing a good job leading. There is part of me that just doesn't even know what else to do. We've talked with our summer staff multiple times, taken different approaches with it, and I am so sick of nagging. It is exhausting and not fun. They are tired, which is completely understandable, but some things are starting slack. I can't seem to motivate them to strive the extra mile for excellence. I think Lisa and I are on the same page of pursuing excellence in every way possible, which is great, I'm really glad we see it the same way and both desire to put in the extra effort to make things just a little bit better. It's been hard though to get our summer staffers to want this themselves. It seems like we have to nag them and make them do things rather than them thinking to do it on their own.

The thing that keeps coming back to me is the line in Remember the Titans that makes a 180 flip for the team. "Attitude reflects leadership." This is so true and it makes me feel like I am failing because I don't love all the attitudes I see. I do have to say that there are some attitudes that I love. We definitely have really hard workers and people that go above and beyond. We just don't seem to all be there yet, and we can't work as a cohesive unit and body if we're not all on the same page. I just get frustrated when I'm not doing a good job and am out of new ideas. How do you motivate people to strive for excellence and how do you lead people spiritually who are not getting in the word? That is the problem. That is the root of it all. They have to get in the word, but I can't make them do it.

We do devotions every morning and the assignment team has asked us to do this bible study on Mark. So we have been going through the daily devotional every morning, but it just gets frustrating. They don't read it, so they have nothing to contribute (again not all of them, but the majority). We've talked to them about getting in the word and talking with each other about what the Lord is teaching them and such, but it hasn't seemed to make a difference. I just need to constantly be in prayer about all of this. I want them to be growing. I want them to have a stronger relationship with the Lord. I want to encourage them in their walk.

It's been hard. It's been a challenge for me and it's been frustrating. But I am up for the challenge and I think God has a lot he is teaching me. Please pray that God would give me grace to pour out on out summer staffers and that they would be truly seeking after him. Please pray for the campers as they close out the week tomorrow and head home and please pray for the campers that will come on Saturday, that their hearts would be open. Thank you all so much for investing time into praying and reading. You are all awesome and such an encouragement to me.