Crossroads, Stop Signs and Blinders

I'm currently at a crossroads in life.

My path, my journey, the Lord, has led me here. Why? For what? What lies ahead?

I have absolutely no idea.

I'm here, standing at this point and there are thousands of roads surrounding me. There are so many choices, so many options, so many directions. I know that I am at a crossroads, but sometimes it feels like God has me at a huge stop sign and has put blinders on me. I don't even know where to begin because I can't see anything. I don't even really know what my options are. I have so many, yet I have none.

The job search is getting discouraging. The church search is overwhelming. I long for fellowship and community, but how do I meet new people?

I have thousands of thoughts running through my head. Sorry this is all over the place. I thought I was going to blog about churches. Maybe not.

I go back to my analogy of the road and I get frustrated with God. All I want is to do His will. All I want is to walk down His path. All I want is to make His name famous in the world. And I have NO idea what that is supposed to look like in my life right now. I'm blinded to everything. It's not like He's showed me three paths and I have to choose. I'm standing there, (*) stopped in my tracks and have no idea what lies ahead. Because I can't see anything, my first instinct is to feel abandoned by God, that because He is not showing me, He is not leading me. But that's a lie. I have to remind myself of the truth God proclaims. That He will never leave me or forsake me.

And when I turn it around, I am thankful for the blindness. Because if I saw a thousand roads in front of me, I would surely be overwhelmed. The Lord is protecting me.

I have to constantly remind myself of His truths. He is for me and not against me. He is with me. He has the best possible plan for my life. He will never leave my side. He knows what is ahead, and it is good. He is trustworthy.

And as I was sitting here typing, right when I got to the (*) that I put up there, was when my phone rang. A call from someone I had emailed about a babysitting job. Because the Lord is faithful. It definitely put things into perspective. I had set up to meet with the lady, but once I looked up where they live, it turns out it isn't going to work out. She just needed someone next week to walk her son to and from school, and they live too far away for it to be worthwhile. So I had to call back. Bummer. BUT... it was definitely a reminder of who is in control. The Lord knows my heart. He knows what is ahead, He knows where He wants me. And He WILL make it work out. May His will be done.