We're all just little pencils

I would say that things are looking up since last night. Praying about all of this and spending time with the Lord has helped a lot. Putting things into perspective. Big Picture: it doesn't matter in the least bit. I just have to continually get over myself. It stinks that I have to do that continually. You'd think you would learn after a couple times. Nope, it is rooted in who I am.

I didn't get much sleep last night and woke up just feeling overwhelmed. I wasn't done dealing with everything and still had some thinking and sorting out to do. We started our class with a little devotional. It was an interview someone had with Mother Teresa. At one point she said, "It is his work. I am like a little pencil in his hand. That is all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used. In human terms, the success of our work should not have happened."

I like that image. We are just pencils; instruments. God is in control, he is writing our stories. He is creating the story. We are just to allow him to use us. That's what I want. I just want to be used by God. I also like the idea she suggests about success. The success of our work shouldn't have ever happened, had it not been for God. He is the reason. He is the source. So why do we consider this success for ourselves?

Every gift is from God. We are just pencils in his hand. He is the author. The creator. He knows where the story is going. He wants to use us though. We have to be willing. We have to allow him to use us.

Once I step back and look at this whole situation with diving, it all becomes so small. It doesn't really matter. So I don't count for points. Big whoop. That does not define me. It doesn't define my impact on the team or the potential for my capabilities. I want my heart to be buried in Christ, not in the recognition of the outside world. I dive for him. For his glory. May his name be praised in all that I do.