God is Good!

Yeah. Thats about all I can say. He is so good, so amazing, and he gets all the glory! My sports have been going really well. As many of you may know, over the past year and a half or so, I've been on a journey with my sports. I've been walking with the Lord trying to figure out what it means to do sports for him and his glory, not for my own. It was quite a journey and struggle last year, and this year, while I'm still learning a lot, I feel like I've been able to apply all that I learned and its been going really well.

I'm not really sure how I should be writing this. I want you to share with me in my successes, but I don't want it to come across as being boastful. It's not about me. It is all about the Lord. It is about the talent that he has given me and he gets all the glory for my performances.

In my senior year, I have done better than I could have ever imagined and I love my sports more than I ever have before. Fridays just seem to be going well. Last Friday I got to go to an indoor track meet! Yay! It was so exciting. It was the first one of the season I was able to go to because my diving meets. Pole Vault practice has been going well. I'm definitely stronger than I was last year because we've been doing more dryland as well as lifting for diving. It makes a huge difference for pole vaulting, which I have to say, I've enjoyed. We had an indoor track meet at Grand Valley and by the grace of God I did really well! I had a personal best of 3.6 meters (11'9 and 3/4 in)and qualified for Indoor Nationals. I was ecstatic. I was able to get on a pole that I wasn't even on at the end of the season last year, which, if you don't know anything about pole vaulting, is a very good thing. It was such an exciting meet for me. I definitely had a lot of adrenaline going and couldn't fall asleep that night. It seemed too good to be true. It still does. It still is. That height initially put me 7th on the list, but since then, I've been bumped down to 10th. (I'm not sure how many people they will end up taking, but the rule book says they have to take a minimum of 11) Because of diving meets there are only two more track meets I can go to before Nationals, so hopefully those will go well. Regardless, I'm really excited about my performance and God definitely gets all the glory. It's still surreal, and honestly was easier than I could have imagined. It's been a deep dream of mine for the past three years and it is so close to coming true. It's all in his hands. We'll have to see what happens.

Today I thought was going to be a struggle. We had our last home dual meet of my life and we have our biggest dual meet tomorrow (against Hope, our rivals). We didn't have class today so I was lazy. All day. I had a phone interview about interning again (which went well and I was essentially offered the job, pending my interview with Chad) and then I just sat around. I was tired and feeling lazy. I got some work on my computer done (resume stuff) but was just a bum all day. I wasn't feeling ready for our meet. Mentally or physically. I just started praying. That God would prepare me. Practice has been going well and my meet last week went well for the most part. I've been close to making it to Nationals for diving before, but it seems to be a scarcity. Last year I was within half a point at one meet and this year I've been as close as a point and a half, which in diving, is not a lot. Well today was my day. I had the meet of my life with a personal best and a Nationals cut. Definitely excited. Definitely the Lord. He is so amazing! Now this actually doesn't really mean anything though. I have to qualify again in order to send in a tape, in which case a panel of judges will watch my dives, score me themselves, and then they have a conference call to discuss who they should invite to the meet or not. All quite complicated. I also don't do three meter, so although its not supposed to affect it, it definitely doesn't help me that I'll only send in one tape, and not two. But like I said earlier, at this point, its just totally up to the Lord. I have a meet tomorrow, and if I dive like I did today, I'll be in good shape. If not, I have one more meet to try and do it in.

I'm definitely proud of myself. I'm excited, and I think thats a good thing, I don't think thats something I need to hide. I just have to continually remind myself that its not about me. I did nothing great. It is all God's power and work through me, through the talent he has given me. These two meets and qualifications, could end up meaning nothing. There is still a chance, and a pretty good chance, that I won't get to go to either Nationals meet. And I need to be okay with that. I am okay with that. It is in the Lord's hands. May his will be done. I am definitely happy with my performances and if others out-perform me in order to get to Nationals, then so be it. May they give him the glory for their talent.

While I get so excited and pumped (I think I had adrenaline going for a couple days after my track meet) it is also extremely humbling. Why me? Why is God pouring these blessings on me? I'm no one special. I am on two teams with people who work just as hard as I do. They put in the same hours as I do. They want it as bad as I do, but sometimes it still doesn't work out for them. Why is it all of a sudden working out for me? At the end of my senior year? There is a part of me that wants to say that the Lord is "rewarding" my attitude and my purpose of doing sports. A lot has changed in my mindset over the last year. But at the same time, just because you do sports for God's glory, doesn't mean your going to make Nationals cuts. I don't know. It's all a bit complicated. It is humbling though. I feel like I don't deserve it. Really because we don't deserve anything. Like my sister used to always say, "if I got what I deserved, I'd be in hell." (we used to joke she only said this because she got to say hell :) but it is oh so true)I don't deserve these blessings. I don't deserve them one bit, but because the Lord has chosen to bless me in this way, I will rejoice! I will rejoice in his name, in his power, in his will! He gets all the glory. We are blessed in order to be a blessing, so I hope and pray that through these experiences I will be a blessing to others. May he become so much greater through my sports, and may I become so much less.