Heavy Heart

Today I checked my email at school and sadly got this email from Crossroads, the church I love in Grand Rapids. The church I love.

"Dear Crossroads family,

It is 3:30 in the morning, and I never thought I would be in a situation where I would need to inform Crossroads that I have lost a best friend and Crossroads has lost a pastor. Derek Taatjes and his son Dylan went to be with Jesus tonight.

My heart is numb with shock and devastated. No words can describe the grief of my heart. This is only a fraction of what Charity is experiencing, and their daughters Ella and JoJo, along with Derek's parent's Doug and Linda, and sister, Hillary.

I praise God for this community, because I know we will be Christ to this family and to each other as we mourn together in the loss of our brother and son.

Let me end with one of Derek's favorite verses.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.²

Derek loved this verse. I know he would love for us to love this verse right now.

Your brother,

Rod"

My heart just sank. I got to know Derek pretty well during my last year at Calvin as he took over the college-aged group, which I was really involved in. I was just at his house a little over a month ago visiting with a dear friend who was babysitting. There was a fire in the house and it is believed that Derek and Dylan succumbed to the smoke and fumes. Charity and the girls were on vacation.

My mind goes in a million different directions. A broken heart. Rejoicing in Derek and Dylan's lives. Rejoicing in the fact that they are in heaven with Jesus. Questioning why. Just a sad and heavy heart. And then thinking about Charity, Derek's wife, and my mind cannot even begin to comprehend. Not even begin. Her husband. Her 6 month old son.

But like one of Derek's favorite verses - may the Lord be praised. God is and will bring great good from this. It doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make the pain go away. But the Lord's name will be praised. Derek touched SO many lives in his life. And I know he will continue to touch SO many in his death.

Sometimes death just puts a reality on life. We tend to get in the mindset that we're invincible. It makes you ask what you're living for and what will people say or remember about you. Do people really know you and what you think is important?

I'm having a hard time being in Virginia. My heart is just SO at Crossroads and leaving that church was the hardest part about leaving Michigan. I want to be there with my church family as they pull together and go through this tragedy as a church. I want to be there this Sunday as they have one big service all together. But the Lord has called me here. Sometimes, in moments like these, I don't know why. But I know he has. And I have to trust that.

Please pray. From so far away that is all I can do. And I have to remind myself that it is something. Praying isn't just the last resort. It is active and powerful. Please join me in prayer for Crossroads and the Taatjes family. Please. Please pray for Charity. For an incomprehensible, indescribable peace that could only come from the Father.

May the Lord be praised.