Anticipation and Excitement

There is something about delayed gratification and anticipation that I love. I've recently realized that it is something I often times go out of my way to create. In many situations, I like not knowing. If someone wants to tell me a gift they got me, I ask them not to. I like the anticipation. I even do it in stupid things in my life. (I think this is weird, I'm not sure, do other people do things like this?) But things that don't matter, like when eating my lunch. If there is something I'm really excited about that I packed in my lunch that day, I make sure I eat it last. When I eat fruit snacks, I eat all the colors I don't like first, savoring the ones I do like. If I get an email I'm really excited about from a friend, I will open all my other emails first, delaying the gratification, enjoying the anticipation. If I'm hanging out with friends and get a voicemail, I'll wait until I'm actually home to listen to it, enjoying the excitement and anticipation my whole drive back.

I love surprises!

I love surprising people. Because it's exciting. The anticipation...it just creeps up and gets bigger and bigger in my gut....more and more exciting the closer and closer the surprise gets.

I recently surprised my sister in Florida. SO FUN! And the anticipation is a highlight in all of it. The whole thing was so fun. Buying my ticket before she was even engaged, having to tell her multiple times that I wasn't going to be able to make it, knowing I was going to see her shortly, getting to the airport, figuring out how I was going to surprise her, almost ruining the whole plan, figuring out another plan, calling her and telling her to turn around, all of it is so fun. The days leading up to it, the anticipation builds. The night before I was SO excited! The morning of, my stomach was in knots and I couldn't sit still. That time leading up to the surprise and the short time before it happens, working out the details is an excitement like no other. I don't even know how to put it to words. It's almost like the time leading up to a surprise is the most exciting part. The whole weekend was AMAZING, I enjoyed every minute of it, but the feeling of anticipation doesn't last, because you end up living out what you were so excited about.

I think there are kind of two lessons in this. One, is that we have to remember to enjoy the present when we are living out the excitement. I think it is safe to say that in our culture, we're constantly looking ahead. Constantly hoping for something down the road. Constantly striving for a future pleasure. That once it gets there, we forget to enjoy it. We're already looking for the next exciting thing, or the next life milestone. A promotion, a spouse, a family, a house, more money ... we always want more, that we forget to enjoy the place we're in, the place we worked or waited to be. We have to start living now. We have to start enjoying the present.

And the other thing I think we can learn is that sometimes delaying gratification can make the situation so much sweeter. Enjoy the unknown, the anticipated, the excitement. It is much more fun and makes living it out that much more precious.

I feel like God has been challenging me in these perspectives in many ways. I've been thinking about it since before I surprised my sister 4 weeks ago, and I've been able to relate it to many areas of my life. Trusting in the Lord's faithfulness, the sermon this sunday, realizing things about myself, even in tv shows. (My one tv show that I let myself follow is Biggest Loser and even when they weigh in every week, it is the unknown that makes it so exciting. The contestants can't weigh themselves throughout the week, they have to wait until the end, delay the gratification. The show would be much much less exciting if we could see how much weight they lost each day and just totaled the weights at the end of the week. But the mystery of it all adds to the suspense, the excitement.)

Now that I think about it, this all really goes back to before Christmas for me. One of the things that I prayed about a lot, through the season of advent, was the excitement and anticipation of what the shepherds and wisemen experienced waiting for the birth of their savior. We get so excited for so many things around the holidays. Many things are good things. But do we have the most excitement of all in the fact that He came to earth to save our souls? We're on the other side of the excitement, he already came, but are we able to go back and try to experience the excitement that others had? Are we enjoying the sweetness of living it out? Or even tying it into what the sermon at my church was about this past week, and what we discussed at community group - we're on the anticipation side of the return of Jesus! The coming of the new earth! Getting to experience heaven! Is that what you're excited about? Is that what you're living for? Do you know that experiencing it will be so much sweeter than anything you've ever experienced in this world?! Eternal perspective. So good. I GET TO EXPERIENCE AN ETERNITY IN HEAVEN WITH JESUS! Now THAT is something to be excited about!

I've just been thinking about all of this a lot and thought I would share. Trying to enjoy certain anticipations and excitements in this season of life. But no anticipation could ever compare to the anticipation of seeing Jesus face to face, of joining in to the true community of the trinity, to see no pain, no suffering, no fear. Just sheer bliss, sheer joy, sheer excitement and worship. It's going to be amazing! Are you enjoying the excitements your getting to live out right now? Are you delaying gratification in order to appreciate the sweetness?

Overwhelmed with Jesus - the best kind of overwhelemed to be

There is literally so much, I have no idea where to begin, and unfortunately don't really have the time right now to dive into all of it.

God. Is. Good.

That pretty much sums it up. Passion was phenomenal. Not because of the worship, not because of who was there, not because of the speakers, but because of JESUS!

Yes the worship was fantastic, yes the people there were amazing, yes the speakers are people who have humbled themselves to be used by the Lord, and he used them. But at the end of the day, all I want is for my heart to be screaming the name of JESUS. Because HE is my savior. He and HE ALONE has brought me from death to life. He was at Passion. He came and met us where we were at. He touched lives, he was present, he was active, he is all we need.

I literally don't even know what to say...where to begin....

The Lord has yet again lit my heart on fire. All I want to do is go scream it out for the world to hear.

I had the life changing and amazing experience while at Passion 2012 to watch my dear dear brother go from death to life. (AHHH!!!!!) It is literally something that words cannot describe. I not only love him as my brother, but now am able to love him as my brother in Christ. THAT is the power of the gospel. THAT screams the name of JESUS!

I just sit in awe.

Every detail.

Every. single. one.

Was a miracle.

Neither my brother nor I should have been able to go to Passion.

Down to the fact that I took the teaching job I did, with the amazing principal I have, back in July. The job I didn't want. The one that God said, "go." (and I said, "are you sure?!") The Lord knew. No other job would have let me take 4 days off immediately following a 2 week break. It doesn't make sense. Yet it's exactly what happened.

Because God is THAT awesome.

I have recently been reminded in SO many ways of the Lord's faithfulness. It is all around me. And it is so what I need.

I've been seeing the Lord's faithfulness play out in so many ways in other people's lives. I'm not gonna lie, I get selfish and ask the Lord when my time is going to come for the prayers I've been praying all my life to come to fruition. But then the Lord stops me in my tracks. These things in others' lives, HAVE been my prayers. It is the Lord showing me he is faithful. They are things I have been praying for others for YEARS. And wow! HE IS GOOD. And then it is through those times of rejoicing with others that I gain perspective. He is faithful. Always. And right now, on this side, on the side of prayer and asking and waiting, I KNOW that because of the Lord's great character, HE IS FAITHFUL. He is being faithful to me right now. Even though I am not on the other side, looking back at his faithfulness, it doesn't change the fact that he is being faithful. He is good. He is constant. He is faithful. Always.

This has been an amazing reminder to me. A way of trusting the Lord. His character is trustworthy. And right now he is holding true to his promises. He is forever faithful.

Passion 2012

AHHH!!!!! I'm here again!!! This is amazing! The first session was last night and Louie kicked us off to a great start. You can join us online through a live feed, or you can watch previous videos as well. This is something you don't want to miss out on! Please pray for us. That God would open hearts and we would proclaim the name of JESUS! http://live.268generation.com/