Louie Giglio - Opening Session

After amazing worship led by David Crowder Band (I think, if I remember correctly) Louie Giglio, who although I don't personally know him, is one of my favorite people ever, shared a great message with us to kick off Passion 2011 Atlanta.

He opened by telling us it is possible to be free and fully alive. He gave us power, encouraging us that we can change the world. He showed us a Time magazine who named Mark Zuckerberg Person of the Year. Mark is only 26 years old and the creator of facebook. Facebook has changed our lives. It has changed the world. It changed the way we communicate, the way we relate to people and the vocabulary we choose. Most people know what it means when someone takes a picture and they say, "tag me!" Louie shared a little bit about Mark, that people have offered him a billion dollars for facebook and he won't sell it. Because he loves it. A BILLION dollars. The article stated that Mark lives in a rented house, doesn't have a tv, drives an acura, and couldn't care less about material things. On his facebook pages, one of his "likes" is - "eliminating desire, it is so easy to get caught up in the things that don't matter."

May our prayers be, "Jesus drown out the desire in my heart for anything that doesn't really matter."

Jesus is the greatest name in history. The greatest of the past, the greatest of the present and will be the greatest name forever. May we make our lives count for what counts. The thing that matters : to him who sits on the throne, and the lamb be blessing and honor, glory and power forever and ever. Thats it.

We have to eliminate worldly desires.

The date that night was 1.1.11. Louie talked about how it was a new start. A fresh beginning. One beginning, one birth, one start, something new. It is possible to be free and fully alive.

We then looked at the first word of Philippians 1:1.

*side note: when Louie said to turn to Philippians and that we would be diving into Philippians this weekend, I got super excited! Philippians has been a theme for me over the last two years. I really want to memorize the whole book of Philippians and have been working on it on and off for the last two years. I also did a bible study on Philippians last year and it is also what I dove into with my mentor my last semester at Calvin. I only have the first chapter of Philippians memorized and have wanted to work on it more, but it is so hard! I just want to really really memorize it. To where I don't even have to think about the words, they just roll off my tongue. And memorizing is hard work. I'm also someone who never makes new years resolutions. Cause I always think that it has to be something that I do everyday and I know that I can't commit to that, so I don't do anything. But...while at Passion, I decided it would be a good new years resolution to have the whole book of Philippians memorized by next year. Totally doable. So keep me accountable to that. Ask me how I'm doing. I'm currently not too much further. I need to work on it.

Okay, so Philippians 1:1 (sorry, this is going to be really really long. It's good information though, I promise!)The first word of Philippians is "Paul." At first I was confused. Louie was making such a big deal about the first word, and all it was was Paul. I knew it. I'd repeated it hundreds of times. But this is why we have teachers :) This greeting, which is typical in many letters, is actually not Paul just saying, "oh hi, I'm Paul." In that first word he announces that all things can be made new. He's saying, "I used to be Saul, but now I'm coming to you as Paul." Back a couple books in Acts, times were not so good for followers of Jesus.

In Acts, Stephen was filled with the Holy Spirit and proclaimed the name of Jesus. Stephen was a follower of Christ, filled with great faith and boldness. He was filled with the Holy Spirit, the last verse in Acts 6 even says that his face was like the face of an angel. The people of the law at that time hated Stephen. Acts 7:54 says, "when they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him." So mad and furious their teeth were chattering. Acts 7 continues the story. Stephen pointed to heaven and said look - the heavens were opening. The men screamed and covered their ears. They took him and stoned him. Meanwhile, the crowd is laying down cloth for Saul to walk on. Stephen prayed that the Lord would receive his spirit. Acts 8:1 "And Saul was there, giving approval to his death." He approved of it! It had his "blessing." And now fast forward to Philippians and Paul (who was Saul) is writing to encourage the church.

God changed his name. God changed his identity. God opened his eyes, gave him a new passion, a new view of life, a new reason to live. He had a new beginning. In one word "Paul" - we get the gospel. God uses his enemies for the greatest things on Earth.

We were all enemies of God. He has reconciled us by Christ's physical body by death. It is because of His grace. God chooses to use his enemies. He wants to use us. He wants to restore our lives. He wants to be a part of eliminating desire in our lives. Jesus made peace for all of us.

Philippians 1:3-6 Paul prays for us. And he is confident that God is not going to quit on the work that he started in us. God is for us. God is committed to making me like Jesus. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are praying for us right now.

In verse 12 Paul says, "now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel." What had happened?

Paul was arrested and had been put in jail. He was chained to someone. He was not in ideal circumstances. It cost Paul a lot to push for the name of Jesus. Paul is writing this letter to Philippi from jail, with Timothy. He was chained up. In jail. But here he is saying, "oh don't worry, its all good. The whole entire palace guard and everyone else knows the name of Jesus. They know that Christ is the one who changed my life." It's almost as if he's even saying, "we didn't know how we would reach all these people. We didn't know how to share the great news with everyone inside. Well now we have! Everyone inside the palace guard knows the name of Jesus and they know that it is because of him my life is changed." And most of those people probably initially knew Paul as Saul.

We, us, in our culture have become such complainers! Paul understood that circumstances do not have anything to do with our joy and freedom. Circumstances do not have power over us both being free in Christ and fully alive. God does not care about our circumstances - they do not limit Him.

Louie then shared a story of a young guy, John Evans, who had recently died of cancer. He was at Passion 2010; leaving during the breaks to go get treatments. At his funeral his friends and family couldn't stop talking about how much he loved the Lord. Reading from his journal and hearing what people had to say, showed the life he lived. Apparently, cancer can't keep you from being free and fully alive. We preach our own funerals - who we are and what we live for. People cannot say things at our funeral that are not true.

Either our circumstances rise up and chain us there, or we let Jesus set us free. God has a purpose and a plan.

Philippians 1:21 "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." Paul is saying, "If I live - great! I'm gonna keep shouting the name of Jesus. If you kill me, and I die - great! That is great gain, I get the prize of going to be with Jesus!" Paul basically said, "You have no chains on me."

The opposite happens to us. We say that we're not going to be chained by anything. We're going to do our own thing. Nothing will chain us down. And we think that by doing our own thing we'll find freedom. But doing our own thing equals chains. All doing our own thing does is wrap a chain around our necks in about 5 seconds. Freedom comes from choosing the chain. The chain of Jesus sets us free. I want to choose for my life to be connected to Him. I choose Jesus. The second we choose to connect our lives to Jesus, we are instantly and forever free. We are free from everything the moment we choose to chain our lives to Jesus. You can choose to not chain your life to anything or anybody. Fine. But know that something is coming back at you and will grab a hold of you. There is no option in the middle. Either you choose it, or it will choose you.

Johnathan Edwards had made a New Years resolution - I will choose to live for God - it is a chain. When I choose that, I said no to every other chain.

This is similar to marriage. And why Louie joked it is so hard for guys to commit sometimes. Because saying yes to one girl, means saying no to every other girl in the world. And sometimes that is much harder.

The same goes for choosing a chain. Saying YES to Jesus, means you are saying NO to everything else this world has to offer.

Louie closed with two John Piper quotes,

"God is glorified best in me when I am satisfied most in him."

"The glory of God is man fully alive."

The Plan: to live to the FULL - being free.

When you say, "Yes" to Jesus, he can do everything. No matter what circumstance we are in.

Passion Atlanta 2011

Okay, I'm doing it. After two months of wanting to, but not being sure I could make the commitment, I've just got to do it. I need to sit down and fully reflect on Passion and the amazing encounters with Jesus and Truth that I had. I'm sorry if it's boring, I hope it's not, but it is something that I need to do for me, and if I'm going to sit down and hash things out, I feel like I might as well put it somewhere that maybe someone else will learn from it too. So this is my commitment, that I am going to walk through Passion Atlanta 2011 for you. Talk by talk, session by session. It's going to take a while, there are going to be many posts, but I need to do it.

In our community group on the last day we were all talking about what we were going to say to people when they asked about how Passion was. It's something that you can't really describe. The answer: Jesus. That is what Passion was about, that is what I got out of it. Jesus. He was there. He was present. But to try and flesh that out...someone said that they calculated it out and said that it would take 4.3 billion words to describe the four days of Passion. I'm not gonna be able to do that. Someone else calculated it out that at the average rate of human speech (100wpm) it would take seven weeks to describe Passion 2011. And I'm someone who's long winded :) So we'll see where this goes, I'd love to just write about what each person shared, my experience walking though the weekend and what the Lord has been teaching me. It may take all year. But I really feel like it is something I need to do. So I am publicly stating that I'm going to reflect on Passion. Not that I haven't at all, but I want to make sure that I do it justice in my own walk with the Lord.

I just watched a video on a glimpse of Passion and it made me so excited about it again. I'm planning on re-watching all the talks and recapping them and reflecting on them when I'm done. We'll see how it goes. I hope you learn from it and aren't bored.

Jobs

I didn't realize how far behind I was. I didn't update about the job situation. But I started the overnight job and it's going really well. And then I got the job at the school! So yay! And...here we go...

I just finished my first week of two jobs and I'm...tired. It's going to be a lot, it's gonna be crazy busy, but it's manageable. It's definitely a lot to take in, and will take some time getting used to, but I'm just gonna try to enjoy it. My big stretch is from Monday night to Thursday afternoon. I work around the clock. One job to the next with a thirty minute break to go back home and make my lunch for the next day.

It just seems like I can't have a schedule that is somewhere in the middle. I either have no plans, or am insanely busy. Nothing in between. Which honestly, can be quite frustrating. When I have nothing going on, I get nothing done. Which is so annoying. Like if I have one thing to do, but all the time in the world, it never gets done cause I can always do it later. But when I am insanely busy, I don't have time to get anything done! And my schedule just never seems to be somewhere in the middle.

I really like both jobs though and they're both too good to pass up. It's going to be a busy couple of months, but hopefully it will be great. A time to trust the Lord and rely on him for strength. This is the schedule and the jobs he has laid before me and I'm ready to embrace it. New places, new relationships and another opportunity to trust the Lord. May his will be done...

Weekend of Motherhood

It's been a while since my weekend with the boys, but it was tons of fun! I did most of my updating through facebook, but here are some pictures. It was a great weekend, lots of fun and quality time with my amazing nephews :)


We lounged...


And Laughed...


Played "peek-a-boo"...


Went for a walk...


Went to the mall...


And wished Aunt Janelle a Happy Birthday!

Motherhood Trial?

This weekend JJ and Katie are getting time away! Yay! Hopefully it will be a great time of relaxation and time with adults. The result of this: I get the boys! Yay!

Starting this afternoon I get a small taste of what this whole motherhood thing is like. I'm excited. Four days, just me and the boys!

I'm not sure how adventurous I'll be, but we'll see. I'm debating church on Sunday, it may depend on how Saturday night goes. Hudson is still waking up multiple times during the night (thats the only part I'm not looking forward to). But we may venture out to the Children's Museum or the mall, or maybe even the park, it's supposed to be nice this weekend.

But here goes a shot at being a stay at home mom! :) I'll try to keep you updated on our adventures.

The job search took a nice turn. I've had two interviews for two different jobs and am waiting to hear back from both. Both seemed like they liked me and gave the impression that I was at the top of their list. One job is staying overnight at someone's house with her daughter while she is on call as a nurse. (Getting paid to sleep, yes please!) The other is at the school I interviewed at a while ago. I didn't get the teaching job, but they are looking for an aide in a class and called me back. This could potentially be the most perfect two jobs, if I am offered both of them. Or, I could have to choose because of a half hour commute. One ends at 8am and the other starts at 8am, but they're 30 minutes away from each other. I'm going to ask about any flexibility in the times, but we'll have to see. I also haven't been offered either job, so it may not even be an issue. Please pray things end up working out, I really want a job! And if I could do both it would be perfect!

Crossroads, Stop Signs and Blinders

I'm currently at a crossroads in life.

My path, my journey, the Lord, has led me here. Why? For what? What lies ahead?

I have absolutely no idea.

I'm here, standing at this point and there are thousands of roads surrounding me. There are so many choices, so many options, so many directions. I know that I am at a crossroads, but sometimes it feels like God has me at a huge stop sign and has put blinders on me. I don't even know where to begin because I can't see anything. I don't even really know what my options are. I have so many, yet I have none.

The job search is getting discouraging. The church search is overwhelming. I long for fellowship and community, but how do I meet new people?

I have thousands of thoughts running through my head. Sorry this is all over the place. I thought I was going to blog about churches. Maybe not.

I go back to my analogy of the road and I get frustrated with God. All I want is to do His will. All I want is to walk down His path. All I want is to make His name famous in the world. And I have NO idea what that is supposed to look like in my life right now. I'm blinded to everything. It's not like He's showed me three paths and I have to choose. I'm standing there, (*) stopped in my tracks and have no idea what lies ahead. Because I can't see anything, my first instinct is to feel abandoned by God, that because He is not showing me, He is not leading me. But that's a lie. I have to remind myself of the truth God proclaims. That He will never leave me or forsake me.

And when I turn it around, I am thankful for the blindness. Because if I saw a thousand roads in front of me, I would surely be overwhelmed. The Lord is protecting me.

I have to constantly remind myself of His truths. He is for me and not against me. He is with me. He has the best possible plan for my life. He will never leave my side. He knows what is ahead, and it is good. He is trustworthy.

And as I was sitting here typing, right when I got to the (*) that I put up there, was when my phone rang. A call from someone I had emailed about a babysitting job. Because the Lord is faithful. It definitely put things into perspective. I had set up to meet with the lady, but once I looked up where they live, it turns out it isn't going to work out. She just needed someone next week to walk her son to and from school, and they live too far away for it to be worthwhile. So I had to call back. Bummer. BUT... it was definitely a reminder of who is in control. The Lord knows my heart. He knows what is ahead, He knows where He wants me. And He WILL make it work out. May His will be done.

Job Update

Well, I didn't get the job.

Kind of stinks cause I think that I would have really liked it, and I think it is something that I would have been really good at, but oh well. I'm not super bummed. The whole thing came out of nowhere, so I never really had my heart set on it or anything. I guess it's just not where the Lord wanted me, which I am so okay with.

Honestly, I don't even feel rejected. I know I didn't mess the "interview" up. I was qualified for the job. They didn't really have anything to base it off of, so, I'm fine.

And...the job hunt continues. I've applied for more teaching positions, both as the teacher and as an aide. I've also emailed tons of people about babysitting or nannying jobs in the area. I haven't heard back from anyone yet, so we'll see where things go. If you have any job ideas in the Richmond area, let me know.

I would love any prayers about this too. I just keep praying that the Lord would put me exactly where he wants me and with the people he wants me to be with. Still in a season of unknown, but really trying to embrace it. The Lord SO has a plan. And it's the BEST plan I could ever imagine! Heck yeah!